Roles Of Parenting Blurred

With the ongoing debate over same sex marriages, the roles of 'married couples' are blurring, as the age-old role of breadwinner and caregiver evolve through a dramatic change. The days are finished when the father-figure was a seldom seen, 'gone to work' person whom the children barely knew.

The three principle causes of this evolution are:

• In America more than one-third of wives bring home a larger salary than their husbands
• due to the current world-wide financial crisis 'lifetime male employment' is now a thing of the past
• the increasing insecurity in the work force.

Women are discovering what it is like to have to take the principle responsibility for the financial aspect of the family, while the men are experiencing the full and often overpowering responsibility of having to be the 24x7 care provider. More and more men find themselves staying at home and doing nappy duty, while their wives hurry off to the office.

There still appears to be a strong orientation to separate male and female roles, even in same sex relationships. It is therefore becoming more necessary in any relationship, for both partners to have the ability of taking over the other partner's role at the drop of a hat.  For both roles to succeed, they need to be in a constant flux of cooperation.

Which partner is the breadwinner is still depends mainly on:

• the national economic situation
• the  economic circumstances of the couple
• the cultural background.

Of all layoffs in the current recession, 80% have been males, as the male dominated industries have been hit the hardest. Yet, for either partner, the ability to establish the balance between being both a caregiver and a provider, produces enormous levels of stress. Perhaps the changing circumstances are now spreading the stress a little more evenly, as numerous couples move to sharing the roles of parenting.

While the initial caregiver must be the mother,  that can alter as speedily as the infant reaching just 6 weeks old, if the mother is forced to go back to work, either by choice, or so she can to keep her job. Either way, the changing roles are of benefit to the children, who get to form a closer relationship with their father, than was the norm a couple of generations ago. No longer is it looked on as being wrong for young boys to play with dolls, or young girls to play with trucks.

Perhaps the celebration of Mother's day (caregiver) and Father's day (provider) should undergo a change also. Maybe they should now be known as the Caregiver and Provider Days, so as to keep up with the evolving changes.