I can’t help but to love my daughter in many different ways. Yet her behavior can be a thorn in my flesh. I’m far from being the perfect parent; there are times when my daughter attempts to get away with murder to the degree like it’s killing me. She simply uses manipulation. She has her way of wanting to control me and to get what she wants. Sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn’t.
It’s tough when you are raising your child in two different environments; and that’s just what happens when you and the other parent are no longer together. However, there are some of you who are together and your children play you one against the other; and it works well if you and the other parent don’t get along with one another. For instance; your child ask you if he or she can go to a particular place and you say no and then as soon as your spouse comes home from work your child comes to you and ask you the same thing he or she just asked your spouse. They attempt to manipulate. To help you avoid and nip manipulation in the bud; keep your communication lines open with your spouse especially if you are married and are on one accord. If you are a single parent; then basically you will do the same thing by letting the non-custodian parent know your child asked to go to such and such a place or do a certain thing and you told them no; and you share your reasoning of why you made such a decision.
Hopefully you and the child’s parent are on same page to prevent any misunderstanding of what’s best for your child. The better the relationship with your child; fewer conflicts you will encounter with your child using manipulating tactics. Have you ever noticed how you do not have to teach your child how to be bad; and how to practice unacceptable behavior? I simply educate my child by using different analogies that make sense. I may say to her if she tries to be slick; then she will probably slide. If you lie; trust will surely die. I could go on and on. The point I make to her is the fact of her reaping what she will sow. This works in most cases; however sometimes children including mine have to learn the hard way and then they learn from the consequences of their choices. Are you having difficulties bonding with your child due to being a single parent? Then I want you to begin using wisdom which is simply using common-sense approaches to deal with your child and their manipulative ways. Become a wise parent and watch out for signs of manipulation.
Your child or children are an asset to you and not a liability. Look, Children are a heritage from the Lord, the fruit of your womb is a reward. Psalm 127:3. If you are struggling with your parental rights and responsibilities sign-up to receive tips on life in general and I can help you with your parenting concerns.
Copyright © 2007 Clark A. Thomas
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