Sole Custody - the Best Custody Type for your Family?

If you are undergoing an angry divorce or ending of another relationship involving children, you may consider filing for sole custody so that you don't have to share parenting with your ex. Before making the decision to pursue full custody, you need to consider the financial and emotional aspects involved.

There are two types of sole custody. Sole legal custody involves one parent having all decision-making authority for the child. Generally, this is the type of custody that may be generically referred to as sole custody. Sole physical custody means that the child will live with one parent with the other parent usually receiving visitation.

Courts favor a form of custody known as joint legal custody. This means that both parents are able to jointly make decisions on behalf of the child. The other type of joint custody is joint physical custody which involves the child living half of the time with one parent and half of the time with the other parent. The main reason why courts usually award joint legal custody is due to the presumption that both parents should be involved in the child's life. Noncustodial parents who get to parent their children tend to remain more involved that those that do not have joint legal custody.

Before a court will grant sole custody, there needs to be evidence that the other parent is unfit. Usually the noncustodial parent is granted visitation, and there are requirements for the other parent to provide information on the child's life such as education, medical and religious concerns. Unless the other parent does not want to remain involved with the child, it is quite hard to convince a court to not allow a parent to see his or her child, even if there has been documented abuse to the child. A parent who is found to be unfit may be granted supervised visitation and given a court order to attend a treatment program with the eventual goal of increasing visitation and parental participation if the parent complies with the court's orders.

No custody case is ironclad. The court will base the custody decision on the best interests of the children. Unfortunately, the judge may not see the situation as you do.

Certain situations will make an award of sole legal custody more likely, though not guaranteed. Child abuse or neglect is a possible case where the judge is more likely to make a full custody award. Since the practice of one parent making false abuse accusations in custody battles has became more prevalent, you will need solid proof of abuse. Some judges have been known to give custody to the abuser, believing that the other parent was making unfounded accusations.

If your ex is in jail, this may be seen as a reason to grant sole custody to you, especially if the jail term is long. Substance abuse or other mental health issues could also result in a full custody award for the other parent.

Domestic violence can sometimes cause the court to grant custody to the abused parent. But, judges may not consider a history of violence to be reason to deny legal custody if the children were not affected by the violence.

If your ex does not see the children, you may be able to get full custody. Often, exes appear out of nowhere when they find out about the court action. If the ex says that he or she wants to remain involved, it's not likely that legal custody will be granted to the other parent.

Consider what going for sole custody is going to cost you. Financially, the bills could easily run into the five-figure range. The stress of a prolonged court fight is extreme and could permanently damage your health. Your children may be put in the middle and used as pawns to spy on you and perpetuate the ex's agenda. You may even be threatened or harmed physically by the ex or one of his or her friends. Kidnapping or other harm to the children beyond emotional abuse could take place.

Joint legal custody does not necessarily mean that you will have to tolerate your ex's antics. Sometimes, decision making is split between the parents by category so both parents don't have to agree on any courses of action. A parenting coordinator could be assigned to your case to serve as a mediator, so you don't have to directly confront your ex.

Before starting a custody battle, consider your options carefully. Discuss your chances of winning with your attorney along with what options would be available for helping you share legal custody with the other parent without major harm to you. You may decide a custody fight is not worth the potential ramifications.