Linda Allen is the co-founder of GirlfriendsCafe.com, a free social network for women throughout the United States and Canada.
Sometimes it can seem as though stay at home moms and working moms are battling against each other. The truth is, there are lots of women who stay at home with their children, and there are some moms who work. The other truth is, one of them is not better than the other. As moms, we all love our children, and we all want them to be happy. There are many advantages and disadvantages to both staying at home, and working outside of the home.
Staying at home with your children is great because you are able to be with them all day. You are able to bond more with your children, and instill more of your values and what you feel is important into your children. It also gives you a great feeling to be able to be with your children all the time. However, staying home with your children can also make them more dependent on you than most other children are toward their moms. It can make them fear leaving you, whether you're leaving them at school, or with the babysitter for a night off. The disadvantages to you are being on call all the time. It can make you feel like you want to tear your hair out! Also, although you have one of the hardest jobs, you're not actually bringing in an income. Although, today many moms are working over the internet, or with home businesses.
Mothers who work outside the home get their chance to be someone else other than 'mom.' They can concentrate on what they are trying to do much better than a mother who works at home. The only 'kids' they have in their hair are the ones they work with! Also, being away from your children more will foster a greater sense of independence in them. Disadvantages to working outside the home are obvious. You don't get as much time to spend with your children, and this can make you feel guilty or neglectful. Also, you have to know that whoever may be your children's caretakers will have an impact on what your children grow to believe.
Whether we work outside the home, or stay at home with our kids, we are all mothers. We all want the same things for our children. Happiness, opportunities, and we want to give them all we can. Being a mother is hard enough today. We need to stick together as moms, whatever kind of mom we are. Supporting each other in motherhood and in life is what is important. Support each other's decisions and be proud of the decision that you have made. Let's end the war!
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