The Parent As a Life Coach

Recently I was contacted by a prospective client who was interested in contracting my services; not as a consultant but as a "life coach." It was the first inquiry of its kind that I have received. That's not what made it unusual. The fact that it was from a man who was inquiring about life coaching services for his son was a bit unusual, at least in my mind.

Needless to say I did not take him, or rather his son on as a client, but I did ponder the irony of the situation. Parents are the first teachers that all children have. The next logical and natural role for a parent to play in the lives of their children - especially as they grow, mature, and evolve as people - is that of a life coach.

In case you don't know what a life coach does, here's a condensed overview.

Life coaches help people believe; achieve; gain proper perspective; formulate strategies for reaching goals; solve personal problems; resolve business issues and conflicts; get people on track; save people from self-destruction; help people in transition; help people instigate transition; and offer all around support in their and professional and personal lives.

Life coaching has increased in popularity over the years. Although many coaches take extensive courses, many others are without credentials and it's a largely unregulated field. In other words, virtually anyone can declare himself a life coach.

Most life coaches have a specialty niche, whether its family coaching, parent coaching, retirement coaching, relationship coaching, etc. It's important to note that life coaches are not therapists - though the services they offer can be therapeutic. In terms of numbers, 60% of those who use the services of life coaches are men. Children are the new burgeoning demographic; hired by their parents.

Considering the concept and duties of a life coach, I'm certain that like me, many others scratch their heads in questioning the relevance and/or need of a life coach for children who have parents at home. Granted, there are always unique situations that engender true necessity; such as a life coach who supplements a male perspective for a father who is at war or incarcerated. Even in those situations, a dedicated father will have some communication with his child and is able to "coach" from afar.

Perhaps it's a sign of the times...times that we should try to change.

When I was a high school teacher parents would tell me that their children (my students) often would not listen to them. I would then follow that statement up with the questions: Are you talking with them, as opposed to at them? Do you encourage them to speak their mind? Are you helping them develop a mindset that will be conducive to achieving autonomy and making sound decisions?

What would come back at me would normally be defensiveness. If the need for life coaching for children arises out of frustration with the child, the parent needs to address the greater issue and look at the bigger picture: you have some respect and communication problems with your child. That's a situation that can be either remedied or exploited by a life coach. I chose to do my part and help remedy the situation by not taking on the client.

Of course he could have just as easily called the next consultant/coach on his list, but at least he is now aware of the issues that plague the relationship with his son. What he chooses to do about that is entirely up to him. He, like most parents, failed to realize that problems which plague communications with their children are not the real problem, but rather the symptom of other problems within their relationships.

Anyone who has played organized sports knows that a coach is afforded the highest level of respect. Trust is the foundation of that respect. Coaches are also teachers. The lessons they impart are carried both on and off the field.

Should we think of and view parents as coaches?  Absolutely. Coaches who guide, direct, and help to enhance and enrich the lives of their children. It's a tough job, but one that they signed up for.