The Parent Farm

Imagine The Parent Farm sounds funny I know, yet it would be nice to know that there is a place where parents can go to learn how to nurture and teach their children, how to become great adults. It is commonly said that there is no rule book or instruction manual on how to be a good parent, yet one can use this as an excuse, does it truly benefit your kids?

The excuses are a mile long from saying it is tougher today to bring up children than what it was 50 years ago, or nowadays it takes two incomes to provide for a family. It really is a cop out, as every generation has strived to improve on their own upbringing by giving more, this is human nature. We can label the difficulties or wrap them in different paper though at the end of the day the buck stops with you as the parent.

Go back 500 years and then compare living in the world today as a tough place, even the meek and lower socio economic live better today than anytime in history. For the majority of us we are living in the here and now, so why not make the most of what we have got. As parents today we instill the virtues and values of generations to come as have those that came before us.

It is easy to blame our parents for our current situation, though stop to think, they could do the same in blaming their parents. You have created your current position in life, as we all have choices. Being born into wealth does not guarantee continued wealth; equally being born into poverty does not mean you are destined to be poor. Today many self made millionaires have hit rock bottom as either being bankrupt or homeless, yet have gone onto great things.

So today if we choose to make a difference we are more inclined to, or you can choose to have a crappy day. By fine tuning your own positive outlook you can expect your children to emulate it? Our kids are simply sponges of our behaviors, our attitudes, our language and beliefs. Therefore decide at least for your children that you are going to be the role model that will impress upon them. One day your kids may thank you for it.

A common issue in the parent of today is the lack of attention that is given to their kids. Yes I understand the pressures of life and the responsibilities, yet how many kids misbehave or get into trouble? While it is only one scenario generally these children are vying for your attention. What do we do as adults when we feel like we are not being heard? We shout and get angry. Kids play up and do naughty things to get your attention. No different.

Can you remember your childhood? Do you remember how quickly it went before you became an adult? Therefore when your kids come to you and ask a question STOP and give them that moment in time, it may be that thing they remember for the rest of their life, that critical question. Do not fog them off.

I am not suggesting you have to be the perfect parent every hour of every day of the week, as none of us are perfect. I recommend you take the time to offer the guidance and inspiration that will make them that great adult. In other words be present for them. It is no good to say wait till I get a spare minute, as that moment in time may never be repeated again.

Being caught up in your work or your chores or even your own quiet time is never as important as when your child comes to you for advice; or when you can see that they need to be taught to do something correctly. As adults we do not always learn something the first time we are taught, it takes repetition before we get the learning. So be patient with your kids development, if it takes you three times or more to tell them not to draw on the wall, so be it. Allow the possibility that it may take that long for it to sink in.

Teach your children consequence; this can be done without imparting the wrath of god upon them. Some parents literally go into hysterics in scolding their kids, if only they thought about the impact that will have on their child as an adult? Imagine explaining to them why that behavior is not acceptable. Note how I said the behavior not the child as in their intellect or personality? By calmly explaining what could happen if they followed through on this, they soon will learn right from wrong.

So in closing you can either find that Parent Farm or you can stop, listen and teach your kids the important values in life, it will make them terrific adults. Or let them grow up as potential failures because you could not be bothered to give them the time? Life is short so being the best teacher you can to create a positive life that comes with offering love and happiness. Be present, listen intently to understand, and enjoy being a parent.