Theresa Gould is Robert’s wife of 15 years and homeschooling mother to seven children. She enjoys baking, cooking, sewing and passing a love for the lost arts to her daughters and others. The Gould family loves to take walks, read together and play board games. They also are interested in working together as a family in business as they have done in the past with their home businesses Faith and Family Books and RobnT Business Solutions. The Goulds find themselves learning the old-fashioned way of bartering as a means to live on less, and are realizing in the process that it is a means of developing character within their own family as well as giving them opportunities to connect with others.
Many moms desire to be at home with their children during the crucial growing up years of infant, toddler and preschool years. However, many of those same moms do not realize the depth of that desire until they have had their baby in their arms then gone back to work full-time. The purpose of this article is to give those moms some things to consider before deciding to stay at home.
Economic Times
During these economic times, one of the most important things for a mom considering staying at home to evaluate is her and her partner’s finances. Can they pay the bills on one income? If not, then one approach is to consider paying down debts before she leaves her job, as well as practicing living on one income while they still have two. If they can do this and save her wages at the same time, then they will accumulate a little nest egg before she leaves work. This will put them ahead for unexpected financial hurdles they may face in the future.
Expenses
The second thing to consider is expenses. How much money is mom actually bringing home once work attire, meals out, child care, and gas money are taken out of her paycheck? This could be a huge eye opener to some families who have not done this. For others, the total amount of expenditures may surprise them, even if her take home pay is significant. Either way, when all is said and done, the couple has to decide if they can live without the second income and save more by mom staying at home.
Loneliness and Boredom
If mom has been in a high executive position or around people all day, the third thing for her to consider is how she will fill the gap once she is at home. Loneliness and boredom may infiltrate. Being a stay-at-home mom often means that most of your socialization and companionship come in the form of drooling babies, curious toddlers and active preschoolers 24/7. This is not at all a terrible thing, but when a woman is used to having adult conversation, solving complex problems and being highly stimulated by the work world, being at home all day may not seem as challenging. However, most long-time stay-at-home moms would likely disagree, as the challenges and complexities of young children often push them to the limit and baffle them beyond what they thought. It is being a part of these complexities that the majority of moms find fulfilling. It may be possible to make arrangements with her employer to work part-time via telecommuting – at least at first.
Getting Together with Other Moms
In order to offset the differences between work and home, there are various things a mother can do to help herself in the transition. One idea is play dates – getting together with other moms with children of similar ages. Also, libraries frequently have free classes for children and their parents.
Children Are Your Priority
A mom who knows that her heart is at home with her children will more often than not breeze her way through each transition phase because being a stay-at-home mom, investing in her children’s lives, has become a priority to her. This is not to say that the factors she considers are less challenging; it is just that her determination to be at home will outweigh her desire to be at work, smoothing the way.
Mom plus Children Equals Joy
Life is full of changes and each season has its own challenges and joys. As a mom considers whether or not to stay at home, it is important to remember that children are only children once and the joys of participating in and celebrating all their "firsts" will mean more to her in shared memories with her family, both at the time and as the years go by, than how big the bank account is at the time. Once the children are older, most likely, mom will be able to go back to contributing to building the family's nest egg. Postponing this goal to stay at home is the most wonderful gift children could receive from their mother, if coupled with genuine involvement and interest in their lives.
This article was originally written for About.com and has been modified from the original version.
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