Tips for Helping your Child Deal With Bullies!

While it is natural for a child to undergo the occasional teasing from their brother or sister or have a disagreement with a friend on the playground, there are other instances when teasing becomes unacceptable. Bullying is an intentional action against another with the goal to cause physical, emotional, or verbal harm. Sometimes it starts with a few unkind words, but can easily snowball into a constant habit that manifests itself in many different ways.

Bullying often starts with name-calling, which then has the potential to escalate into shoving, hitting, and other threats. Bullies may use various tactics of intimidation to obtain money (primarily lunch allowances) or take personal belongings. Sometimes, bullying doesn’t even have to include face-to-face contact, as some kids find ways to ostracize targeted peers by spreading rumors. In this day and age, bullying has also spilled over into the World Wide Web, as an increasing amount of students use chatrooms, email, instant messages, and other social networking sites as a popular method of communication.

A bullied child undergoes serious social obstacles, which increases the chances of low self-esteem and future issues with sustaining healthy relationships with others. In the most severe cases, bullying has directly led to grave consequences, such as school shootings and suicide.

Pinpointing the Signs of Bullying

Often, identifying a bullied child is pretty difficult, as children rarely open up about this occurrence. If no visible bruises, scratches, or other injuries are present, many parents usually see no reason to bring up the issue. Eventually, as the bullying progresses – a few warning signs begin to surface. Some children start to act differently or display an anxious demeanor. Their eating habits may change or they encounter difficulty falling asleep. Nightmares in the middle of the night are also common.

A bullied child may undergo various mood swings and is quick to become upset or impatient. Things they once found joy in may no longer gain interest. One of the most telling signs of bullying is when a child starts to avoid their regular routine, such as riding the bus to school. This is a common place (joined with the playground) where bullying often takes place.

If you begin to suspect your child in being bullied at school but doesn’t seem open to conversation, there are other ways to create dialogue. Sometimes, a television show presents the perfect opportunity. You may ask what they think about the program and how they should have responded. Their response may encourage you to ask if they have ever seen bullying happen (or ever experienced the same thing). To promote a deeper conversation, you may share a similar experience that you (or another relative) may have encountered at the same age. It is important to emphasis that there is always help for a bullied child.

Providing Help

Once you find out your child is being bullied, the first line of action is to provide loads of support and reassuring words. Your primary reaction might be anger, but this will only breed reluctance in your child as they attempt to describe the situation or events. Embarrassment and shame are common responses in bullied children and they never want to disappoint or seem weak to their parents. A few tips to follow when this type of situation arises includes:

1) Make sure your child knows that the bullying is not their fault.

2) Give praise when your child opens up and remind them that he or she is not the only one to experience bullying.

3) Until the situation is settled, encourage your child to use a buddy system to avoid the bully.

4) Teach your child how to hold in their anger, such as counting to 10 or taking deep breaths.

5) Encourage your child to act courageous, walk away, and pay no attention to the bully.

6) When bullying takes place on school grounds, instruct them to bring incidents to the attention of teachers and the principal.