Jody Johnston Pawel is a Licensed Social Worker, Certified Family Life Educator, second-generation parent educator, founder of The Family Network, and President of Parents Toolshop Consulting. She is the author of 100+ parent education resources, including her award-winning book, The Parent's Toolshop. For 25+ years, Jody has trained parents and family professionals through her dynamic workshops and interviews with the media worldwide, including Parents and Working Mother magazines, and the Ident-a-Kid television series. Jody currently serves as the online parenting expert for Cox Ohio Publishing’s mom-to-mom websites and also serves on the Advisory Board of the National Effective Parenting Initiative.
any professionals who dispense parenting advice tell parents to use rewards or create "behavior modification" token systems to teach children a skill, to get children to take on a responsibility, or to curb an unwanted behavior or habit. Often, however, rewarding good behavior with behavior charts has the same effect as bribery.
Long-term studies of work incentives, behavior management programs for children, weight loss and stop smoking plans have all found similar, revealing results:
- Performance and quality of work declines over time because people are thinking only about the incentive or reward, instead of the value of what they are doing.
- If there is a loss of interest in the reward, people become less motivated to do the task.
- The work becomes an unpleasant task that is endured strictly to get the reward.
- People try to take short cuts to find the easiest way to finish the task, rather then challenging themselves to do the best job possible.
Change is short-term. When the incentives are gone, so is the motivation for doing the task.
B.F. Skinner, the father of behavior modification sciences, made a name for himself with his scientific research of the 1950's. He trained rats (and children later on), to repeat certain behavior by rewarding them for desired behavior and withholding rewards or applying punishment for poor behavior. His theories and practices have greatly influenced schools and psychologists for years. Recently, B.F. Skinner himself has recanted some of his own earlier conclusions. He realized that rewards work well on rats, but humans have deeper motivations. He also lived long enough to see the negative long-term results of "conditioned responses."
After producing a generation of young adults who expect rewards for every little accomplishment, it is becoming obvious that creating such expectations and dependency is neither healthy nor realistic.
In several of my other articles (see list below), I share many ideas for motivating children to cooperate without resorting to bribery. However, you might choose to use a behavior chart anyway. If so, here are some suggestions for using behavior charts with fewer negative long-term consequences (although there will always be some):
- Promote internal competitiveness (doing one's best) rather then competing against others. Competition destroys teamwork and damages relationships. This especially applies to siblings.
- Make the tasks challenging, with a chance to learn new things. Explain the task in a way that makes it a meaningful contribution which will improve the family or person.
- Involve the people who will be using the charts in developing the charts. With children, use creative ideas, like gluing pictures of tasks, to make this a fun project.
- Have "rewards" be extra privileges or non-monetary bonuses, such as picking the place for a weekly family outing, having a friend overnight, extra time out on Friday night, choosing a family game or video, or choosing the dinner menu and helping cook it.
- Gradually phase out the chart as children learn new skills are reform habits. Wean children from rewards before they become addictive. Increase internal motivators through descriptive encouragement.
- Use the charts as reminders of agreements, not a record of rewards or payoffs. Focus on the child's accomplishments instead of giving demerits for poor performance.
When children accomplish something new or improve their behavior voluntarily, they feel a sense of self-respect that no sticker, candy, money, or reward can give them. Help children understand the value behind the changes you ask them to make and help them take responsibility for making those changes -- to feel better about themselves, not just to please you.
- Related Videos
- Related Articles
- Ask / Related Q&A
- Using Behavior Modification Techniques
- Behavior Modification
- What to Do about Bad Behavior in Children
- Is Behavior Modification for You?
- Behavior Modification in Children - Avoiding the Trap of Unreasonable Expectations
- Problem Behavior In Children - 3 Tips For Parents
- Teenager Behavior Modification - Are You Trapped In Denial?
- The Defiant Child And Behavior Modification - 3 Tips For Parents




Proud to Be a Homemaker and You Should Be Too
By: Gabriella Gometra | 07/01/2010Any parent, mother or father, wishes to stay home to care for their children, they should be celebrated. In particular, mothers need to be a safe place for children again -- a source of comfort and nurturing.
4 Ways to a Baby Name
By: Tom Tessin | 07/01/2010One of the hardest things to do when having a baby is coming up with a name. If you don't know how you're going to name your child, or you don't even know on where you can start, I wanted to show you how you can find the perfect name...
Babysitters 4 Hire - Affordable Caregivers Online Agency!
By: Dave Kapel | 06/01/2010Searching for a baby sitter via the web, most parents are in the dark about how to track down the right person for the job.
Babysitter Finder Solution - Free Web based Seeking Tool!
By: Dave Kapel | 06/01/2010Need help caring for your child? When looking for a caregiver online many families and individuals don't really know what is the sure-fire method for lining up the perfect companion/caretaker for their child.
Babysitter Resources - Find a Wonderful Helper Online!
By: Dave Kapel | 06/01/2010When it comes to finding a sitter via the web, most parents are in the dark about how they can locate someone they can trust with this important task.
Babysitter Referrals Database - Top Child Minders Listing!
By: Dave Kapel | 06/01/2010When looking for a baby sitter through the internet, lots of people have no idea how to track down someone they can trust with this important task.
Babysitter in St Louis - Find a Fantastic Child Minder!
By: Dave Kapel | 06/01/2010Need help caring for your child? When looking for a child care provider online many families and individuals don't really know how they can locate the perfect companion/caretaker for their child.
Babysitter Sites - Free Database of Top Caregivers!
By: Dave Kapel | 06/01/2010Looking for a child care provider on the web, most people haven't a clue how they can locate a good match for their child.
10 Tips for Kindergarten Preparation
By: Jody Johnston Pawel, LSW, CFLE | 31/07/2008 | Childhood EducationThe new world of school brings many changes. Even for children who have been in child care or preschool, starting kindergarten will be a new world that is quite different from what they've experienced. The school's rules might be different from your rules, so children must learn flexibility. Children need to sit still for longer periods of time than they are used to, so they must have self-control and self-discipline. Teachers might have a different teaching
10 Tips for Kindergarten Preparation
By: Jody Johnston Pawel, LSW, CFLE | 31/07/2008 | Childhood EducationThe new world of school brings many changes. Even for children who have been in child care or preschool, starting kindergarten will be a new world that is quite different from what they've experienced. The school's rules might be different from your rules, so children must learn flexibility. Children need to sit still for longer periods of time than they are used to, so they must have self-control and self-discipline. Teachers might have a different teaching
10 Ways to Get Back Into the School Routine
By: Jody Johnston Pawel, LSW, CFLE | 31/07/2008 | Childhood EducationCome on, admit it. You intended to keep a schedule this summer, but when the kids slept in you liked the extra quiet time. Then the daylight lasted so long it was often later than you realized when the kids finally hit the sack. Not living by the clock was a refreshing change of pace, but school will be starting in a few weeks and you know the kids and you need to get back into the groove.
Halting Homework Hassles
By: Jody Johnston Pawel, LSW, CFLE | 31/07/2008 | Childhood EducationHomework is a child’s responsibility, so we need to be careful how much we help. We want to be aware of what our children are doing and be involved in helpful ways, but not help too much. Avoid the word "we" — it implies that homework is our responsibility. Say, "When are you going to do your homework?" If they are having problems, figure out why.
Helping Children Succeed in School
By: Jody Johnston Pawel, LSW, CFLE | 31/07/2008 | Childhood EducationAs children return to the classroom, parents often wonder how they can help their children succeed in school — without doing too much for their children. There are two key areas in which parents have tremendous influence: success attitudes and skills.
The Importance of Educating Today's Parents
By: Jody Johnston Pawel, LSW, CFLE | 29/06/2008 | ParentingAlthough most parents would agree that their children are more important than their job, most usually get more on-the-job training than they do as a parent. As a Mother of seven once said, "The love is instinctual but the skills are not."
Using Effective Time-outs
By: Jody Johnston Pawel, LSW, CFLE | 29/06/2008 | ParentingMany parents use the same type of discipline for every problem situation. One tool, however, is rarely effective for all situations. Plus, overusing one particular tool also reduces its usefulness. Timeout is just one tool -- and it really isn't a "discipline" tool; it's an effective anger-management tool. Since the purpose of a timeout is to help someone regain control, it is most appropriate to use when someone has lost self-control or there is extremely disruptive behavior.
Improving Your Family's Communication
By: Jody Johnston Pawel, LSW, CFLE | 29/06/2008 | ParentingImagine this scene: A neighbor is at your house, visiting over a cup of tea. You start feeling irritated and pressured when you realize you are running late for an appointment. What would you say to your neighbor? Imagine the same situation, except it's your child at the breakfast table. How would it change your response? Is it possible that you might respond in a more disrespectful way?