Using Psychology When You Take a Child to the Hospital

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Mental Preparation

A Child Alone in Hospital

Probably the most important thing to keep in mind when you take a child to hospital is your constant assurance that he/she is not alone in the experience. And I mean "constant". You should never, not even for a moment, allow any hint of the child being alone to creep into your conversations.

Child psychology is a profound subject, and you may not realise that even an apparently innocent use of the future tense when you talk to the child might give rise to some sub-conscious consternation in his/her mind. So, for example, say "The nurses are always watching over you, even while you're asleep.", rather than "The nurses will always be watching over you, even while you're asleep." If you cannot perceive the nuance in the effect of these two ways of saying the same thing, please, just take my word for it: they are different.

Unless the circumstances are unusual, it is unlikely that both parents are able to stay with a child in hospital for the duration of the treatment. If it's not possible for at least one parent to be there at any time, do try to arrange for a grandparent, brother, sister, aunt, uncle, cousin, friend, etc. to cover for you. If there are any gaps, do prepare your child in advance for them by saying that he/she can make new friends in the hospital ward. "It's exciting to make new friends, and you can continue to see each other when you come home!"

Keeping a Child Occupied in Hospital

Boredom is not an Option!

It is essential for a child in hospital to have familiar objects close at hand, be they toys, books, a favourite blanket, etc. (Ensure that every such item is spotlessly clean before you take the child to the hospital.) Such items comfort the child in unfamiliar surroundings. Psychologically, familiar items alone rarely achieve a 100% effect to avoid boredom, because of their very familiarity. Ideally, there needs to be some new item or items which are given to the child specially because he/she is going to hospital. This is to stimulate the child's mind, as distinct from bringing comfort. This also provides an incentive for the child to go to hospital, rather than a reluctance.

The "So, You're Going to Hospital" booklet is ideal for this purpose. If the child becomes bored in hospital, his/her mind will wander to the real reason why he/she is there. You certainly do not want that to happen!

A Hospital Adventure

The Difference between Positive and Negative

For a child, going to hospital should not be an event to dread, but one to look forward to. How your child perceives the visit is in your hands, as a parent. Emphasise the positive things, and play down or avoid the negative aspects. Talk about the results of the treatment, rather than the reasons for the treatment. For instance, "When you come home, you can join in sports / eat ice cream / (whatever).", rather than "The doctors will take away the pain you're feeling." or "You won't need to take those pills any more." Are you getting the idea?

The Distraction Ruse

Make the impending visit to the hospital sound interesting; like an adventure. Most children have a competitive nature. If you can distract your child's mind from the real reason for the hospital visit, it'll all be over before you know it. The "So, You're Going to Hospital" booklet can achieve both of these aims; Your child's visit to the hospital can seem like both an adventure and a competition. Either print out multiple copies of it from the downloadable version, or order several printed copies of it, and hand them out to the other kids in the same ward, and tell them what to do with it. Of course, you'll whisper "secret" advice to your child, so that he/she can win. That'll make him/her even more excited!

The Importance of Information about the Hospital

Kids are not Fools

There's no point trying to fool a child about the reason why hospitals exist. They are for curing ills, mending bones, etc. They are not playgrounds or fun places for "sleep-overs". If you mislead your child in that way, it may have a detrimental effect when he/she discovers the truth from other children in the hospital whose parents have not read this page. The effect might even be traumatic. If you're tempted to follow that path, think again.

Obviously, informing a child of the details of the impending operation or the medication is likely to have an equally traumatic effect. Try to strike a balance between the two extremes. Ideally, the amount of information to give to a child going to hospital should be just enough to pre-empt him/her from asking awkward questions. If a child asks a first question, you can expect more questions. This you do not want to happen. It is a slippery slope to either worrying the child with too many unpleasant details or to misleading him/her. You can solve this potential dilemma by using the "So, You're Going to Hospital" booklet, specially designed for the purpose.

The Hospital Through the Eyes of a Child

By their nature, hospitals are usually stark, looming, daunting buildings which can instil fear into an impressionable child. Even gaily coloured drawings on the interior walls cannot disguise the endlessness and narrowness of the corridors. Some of the machines on view, which adults see as harmless, may seem to a child to be similar to a weapon used by an evil warlord in a science-fiction cartoon.

It's not only the hospital building and the machines which can make a child nervous; hospitals also contain strange-looking people: doctors, nurses, porters pushing trolleys and wheelchairs, elderly and young patients in their pyjamas. You and I think nothing of such sights, but imagine them through the eyes of a child, especially if it's the child's first visit to a hospital!

Unfortunately, there's nothing one can do to avoid these sights. The only solution is adequate preparation by telling, or better still, by showing the child what he/she will see in hospital. This is where the "So, You're Going to Hospital" booklet can help. Indeed, it is invaluable in this respect, because it takes all the hard work and thought off your hands for you.

The Most Important Person in the Hospital

When a child goes to hospital, he/she is thinking less than usual about parents, friends, school. Uppermost in a child's mind is ME. What is happening to ME? That's why the "So, You're Going to Hospital" booklet goes to great lengths to make "ME" the most important and special person in the hospital; the main character in the adventure; the hot favourite in the competition.

Whatever the reason for your visit, when you take a child to hospital, you need to be able to use all your senses and think in the way your child does. It is no easy task, but, if you succeed, it can be a less distressing experience for both you and your child.

Read the booklet at http://www.TakeAChildToHospital.com