What are you Feeding your Child's Emotional Appetite?

Whatever your child’s talents, you can help him feel loved and therefore empowered to do whatever he desires. This involves concentrating on your interaction and personal relationship with your child, the language you use, the love you show, the trust and responsibility you bestow upon him, and just being happy with him whatever his likes and dislikes, and whoever he is.

The way we think influences how we feel, our self-esteem and our achievement. I’m sure many of us can recall times when we had a thought, like for example, “I know I will let the team down again”, and then, true to our word, we do just that. So being conditioned to have positive thoughts rather than negative can make all the difference to us achieving our goals, and even when a child is good at something, he can achieve so much more and even be the best, if he believes he can do it.

So how can we foster such a belief in our child?

1. Express your love to your kids, no matter what their age. As they reach teenage, this is something we may not do as frequently. Always let them know you love them – it is your close, trusting and stable relationship with them that is the strong foundation on which they can build, and achieve, anything in their lives.

2. Our language is powerful. Children respond tremendously to positive praise when they do anything good or well, but equally as important is your willingness to overlook the things they don’t do so well. Always look for, draw upon and build upon, the best, rather than the weaknesses in your child.

3. We’ve all met the over-zealous parent who pushes his child to be good at lots of things, to do his best in absolutely everything, and have high standards. It’s good for children to know, however, that they don’t have to be good at absolutely everything, and that they respect their limitations. A child who feels he has to be something he’s not, will feel disheartened and a failure.

4. From an early age, encourage your child to be independent, doing things for himself, starting with the smallest of tasks like hanging his coat up, right up to running errands and finding a job. Giving kids responsibility gives them power and the knowledge that you consider them to be responsible and trustworthy. If you’re always coming from a position of distrust or little confidence in his abilities, then he will respond accordingly.

5. If a child wants to do something for himself, then let him (within reasons of safety, of course). Unless you can find a compelling reason not to, always say ‘yes’ to their willingness and enthusiasm in doing things for themselves. It shows you believe in them and gives them the confidence to try new tasks.

Have you noticed that when you’re happy people smile at you? It’s because the way you are feeling on the inside shows on the outside, even if you are not aware of it yourself. What we feel on the inside is projected outwards from us. Likewise, in order to love others and give love to others, we must first love ourselves. Being happy and having a positive attitude and self-esteem are more important than anything else because they are the foundations on which we and our children can build in order to do and achieve anything in our lives, because to be successful in career, business, education or anything, we must be able to build relationships with others.

So rather than worrying about what your child is achieving or not achieving, concentrate on your interaction and personal relationship with your child. Children will always have their strengths and weaknesses, be particularly gifted in certain things, and confusingly clumsy and slow in others. Whatever his talents, you can help your child feel loved and therefore empowered in whatever he desires to do.