What is Parental Failure?

Parental failure has a lot in common with organ failure in the human body. When an organ such as the heart or kidney fails it is unable to pump blood round the body in case of the heart or purify blood through elimination of wastes in case of kidney failure. Parental failure is the inability of parents to do the needful for their child during the most vulnerable period of the child’s life. Parents have a responsibility of caring, providing, guarding and guiding their child till adulthood.  While parental failure may be total as when a parent dumps a child by the roadside or abandons the child in a hospital for whatever reason, in most cases, the failure is limited to some areas of need in the life of the child for which the parent failed. It is possible for a parent to do marvelously in the training of one child while he/she failures in the training of his/her other child. King David was a success in the training he gave Solomon but failed in his training of Adonijah because the Bible records that he never for once scolded him.

A parent may be failing in his/her duties to his/her child:

• If the parent fails to provide for the physical needs of the child such as food, shelter, clothing, health care and protection from harm.
• If he/she fails to serve as a role model to the child in all that is needed to succeed in life.  Abraham Lincoln said; “There is but one way to train up a child in the way he should go and that is to travel it your self.” A child whose parents are not role models in moral values cannot understand the importance of moral restraints in daily living. What you do as a parent in the sight of your child is worth more than a thousand sermons.
• All children are not the same and cannot be treated alike. A parent will be failing if he/she tries to fit all his/her children into one mould. Know your child and adapt to his/her uniqueness as you train up your child.
• Let fun be part of the upbringing of your child; do not think because you did not have fun growing up, your child must share a similar fate. You will be failing in your parental duty if you have that mind set. Create a memory bank of fun in your child to draw upon when he/she eventually leaves home.
• Failure to provide a stimulating environment that promotes learning and development is a minus for a parent. Every child is unique, no two children of the same age are exactly alike and every child has a unique learning style. Help your child identify his/her learning style.
• Beyond protection, food and health, children need affection, interaction, stimulation, security, play that allows for exploration and discovery. Do not deny your child this.
• Those who failed to discipline their children growing up have denied them the opportunity of knowing that certain actions have consequences. Such children frequently run fowl of the law and could end up in prison or have poor work records.

Parental failure in one form or the other is common today for diverse reasons; a parent must count the cost before having children. Parents who care for their children very well live to enjoy the fruit of their labour. Through proper parenting, they are able to unlock the potential in their child while their children grow to become responsible citizens who contribute to development of society.