What is Parenting?

Parenting is a process of raising a child from babyhood to adulthood; it is synonymous with child rearing. It differs from fathering or birthing a child in that while these are events, parenting is a process borne out of love and commitment that spans babyhood to adulthood. It entails nurturing, guiding and guarding the child, and meeting all the developmental needs of the child. It also includes instilling necessary values and skills that will make the child succeed in life.

The basic needs of a child vary according to the developmental stage of the child. The needs can be classified in to physical, emotional, social, intellectual and spiritual needs. Physical needs have to do with protecting the child from harm while he/she is growing. Emotional needs have to do with proper handling of the feelings of the child so that the child is able to receive and express love and empathy. Intellectual needs have to do with creating the appropriate environment and stimulus to make the child learn. Social needs have to do with equipping the child with what he/she requires to interact with other children positively so that he/she can make and retain friends. Spiritual needs are what bring the knowledge of God to the child in a way and manner appropriate for the child.

The following are the stages of development and corresponding task for parents:

Babyhood This extends from birth to one year. The new born baby is totally dependent on the mother for breastfeeding or alternate feeding, comfort, attention when the baby cries or needs a change of diapers, protection from falls and good hygiene. Prompt medical care should be given whenever the need arises. Speaking to the child or reading to the child helps the child develop early reading skills. Carrying the child tenderly promotes bonding with the mother first and the father later. Separation at this period of life results in children who cannot express affection or empathy.

Toddlerhood This stage covers 1 to 3 years. This phase marks the development of motor skills and coordination that leads to sitting, crawling, standing and walking. The child needs physical protection from tripping or falling down the stairs. Toilette training takes place at this stage. The child learns to talk while helping the child respond to gestures is appropriate for this phase of life. Rote learning of nursery rhymes and learning to read and write takes place in this phase of life. A child learns to play, develops emotionally in how he/she expresses feelings and socially in how he/she interacts with people. The child is given ample room to explore the environment and learn new skills. Spiritual development starts at this level by teaching the child simple prayers and making the child pray before and after meals, reading bible stories to the child etc.

Early Childhood This stage covers from 3 to 5 years; it is also referred to as the preschool years. This is the phase when the child internalizes what is socially acceptable to parents and also develops a sense of guilt. A child that throws tantrums at the slightest provocation is corrected at this phase; he/she learns an acceptable to express frustration. A child’s capacity to feel guilty later in life would be impaired if he/she does not have stable relationship with the parents at this phase of life. A child learns to control his/her emotions at this phase and this enables him/her to get along with mates at school. Making the home environment safe at this stage prevents accidentalIngestion of drugs, poisonous substances or electrocution.

Late Childhood This stage covers 6 to 12 years. The child acquires knowledge while learning new skills and how to cope with challenges and failure in this phase of life. A child develops good self-esteem at this phase when he/she accomplishes a goal or master’s a skill. By learning new skills, children take responsibility for their actions and learn not to blame others for mistakes.

Adolescence and Teenage years The child forms his/her identity at this phase, seeks for more personal freedom and look to peers for affirmation concerning the right behaviour. Parental guidance and counsel are needed to stair the child away from trouble. This is when exploration of different careers should start and sexuality education should be given by parents to their teenage children. Children should be alerted to the dangers of moving with bad company, cultism, substance abuse, pornography, teenage parenthood and other vices that are prevalent in this phase of life.

Adults A child’s need at this phase centers around major issues of life such as higher education, career, choosing mates for friendship or marriage. Parents should enlighten their children about what it takes to build a happy marriage and how to prepare themselves for marriage.

Parenting is a very noble venture which transforms a baby in to a responsible adult over time, equipping the child to take his/her place in society thereby making meaningful contributions to the world. Successful children look forward to nurturing their children the way they were nurtured or even applying newer techniques that would yield better results.