When You Can't Fix It

Parents are supposed to make everything better – at least that’s how I feel sometimes. I want to be there for my kids for them to lean on when they need support, for them to cry with when they need a shoulder, and for them to come to when they have questions.

But life is tough. And sometimes I just can’t fix the issues or problems that come along.

I can be really hard on myself as a person AND as a parent. I expect a lot out of myself. So it can be frustrating and disappointing when I feel so helpless. My children mean the world to me. I never like to see them hurting, or left to fend for themselves!  Yet sometimes I know this is a must in order for them to find their own footing and internal strength.

I know that God doesn’t fix all of my problems. I sure wish He would but in hindsight, I see how so many times I learned deep lessons through those challenging times. I also grew in my faith. Sometimes I gained courage, sometimes I gained compassion, and sometimes I just gained insight that was needed whether towards myself, a certain situation, or towards somebody else.  If God had fixed my problems, I oftentimes would have missed out on the rich blessings that I found through seeing life in a different way. I would have been a little less generous, less humble, and more selfish; taking things for granted.

Our kids are the same way. We can’t rush in and fix everything for them. They have lessons to learn, roots to grow, discoveries to make, and faith to deepen.

I think the most important thing I can give my kids when they are going through something is my love and support. I can be there to listen and to understand their heart and their struggle. I can pray for them and I can encourage them. I can be honest with them letting them know that I have limitations and I can’t fix everything. And even if I could, I shouldn’t!! We need to pick and choose our battles so carefully otherwise our children will always remain weak relying on us when they should be learning to rely on God to direct their choices and paths.

It’s so hard for me to stand by and see my children suffer. But its value is worth it if they learn and better themselves from it and if what they are going through turns them towards God instead of away from Him.

We may not be able to fix everything, but we sure can guide and direct and teach our children how to emotionally handle the adversities and challenges that come their way. Show them by our attitudes and choices that life doesn’t have to defeat you or make you feel like a victim but that you can change its direction at times merely by what you believe about God, and yourself.

The next time your children are going through something that you wish you could fix, get on your knees with them and pray about it. Hug them and let them know you are there for them and never, never give up on believing that they will find their way through the problem..

Our children are a precious gift. Give them the gift of believing in them because sometimes that’s all it takes.