Why Breastfeeding is Hard

Let me preface this article by saying that breastfeeding is not hard for every woman, or for every baby. In fact for some, things happen quite easily and there are few challenges.

But for some mothers, even the ones determined to breastfeed their babies, breastfeeding is hard. They speak of the sacrifice, the pain, and how it was all "worth it" in the end - implying that major sacrifice is part and parcel of the experience.

Why is breastfeeding so hard for some moms and babies? I have a few ideas on why this is so.

We Don't Birth Naturally

Labor and birth experiences affect the early hours and days of breastfeeding - for some moms and babies, quite profoundly. While there are certainly exceptions, the fact is that for many moms, a hospital birth with its protracted or unnaturally stimulated labor coupled with the increased stress of the experience leads to difficulty in the early moments after birth. Mom is tired and baby may have been exposed to drugs during labor, affected his or her ability to latch on well. Instead of a blissful experience where mom and baby's physiology are ideal for the first nursing to take place, there is a disconnect between them. This is one reason why birthing with a minimum of interventions leads to better breastfeeding outcomes.

We Don't See Other Women Breastfeeding

Women in many parts of the world see their mothers, aunts, big sisters and women of the community breastfeeding all around them openly, from the time they're very young. The behavior is as natural to them as anything else commonly done.

I wonder, if a young child never saw anyone eating with a fork, when they grew up and were expected to eat with a fork, would they know how? Seems doubtful, does it not?

The subtle moves that are involved with breastfeeding - from holding baby to latch on and finishing the feeding and everything in between - involve practice, perhaps because we haven't been exposed enough to the activity.

We Don't Trust Ourselves

When I was a new mom and nursing my young son, I created problems for myself where there were none because I didn't trust my body. Instead of trusting that I could produce enough milk for him simply by listening to his needs and nursing him as often as he wanted to, I switched him back and forth too much, thinking this would increase my supply (which didn't need increasing). This led to a hindmilk/foremilk imbalance which led to increased gassiness and fussiness, which led to more unwarranted worries about milk supply!

This type of scenario is all too common. Another common event is when women offer bottles of formula to "top off" a nursing baby (again - convinced they don't have enough milk). This can lead to nipple confusion and real supply issues since the breasts aren't being stimulated enough.

We Get Conflicting Advice

It's hard to know which end is up when your Pediatrician, OB/GYN, mother-in-law and next door neighbor all tell you different things. There are also a plethora of websites that have dubious information about breastfeeding. Ideally a nursing mom would get advice from a real expert - a long time breastfeeding mother who had faced a similar situation, a La Leche League leader or Lactation Consultant.

With these and other forces working against breastfeeding moms and their babies, it's no wonder so many women experience challenges! The best defense is a good offense of course. Preparing to breastfeed doesn't involve things like toughening up your nipples or buying bottles "just in case". It has to do with things like finding supportive health care, finding your "tribe" of supportive nursing moms, and choosing (if at all possible, of course) a natural childbirth.