Dr Margarethe de Clermont is the author of the e-books "Ride with Supreme Self-Confidence" and "Letters to Lady Belle, my Friesian Mare" and edits the Equestrian Information Newsletter and the Equestrian Online e-Zine. Subscribe at her website www.equestrian-life-coaching.com to receive your FREE 7 day e-courses. Visit her bookshop at www.browse-ebooks.com
Many of us spend a lot of time convincing ourselves that our dreams will never come true. That we will never master the half-pass, or jump a clear round or canter fearlessly on a hack.
You can easily turn these negative thoughts into positive beliefs by being you own life coach. The next time you feel destructive thoughts coming on, take a deep breath and say, I love myself, just the way I am. I can and will achieve my dreams.
Banish negativity by setting realistic horse riding goals
Instead of thinking negatively, think about what you want to achieve and how you are going to do it. Make plans, write down your goals, and take action to reach those goals. Start with something simple. Learn how to clean tack properly. Learn how to ask for canter properly. Small victories will give you the confidence to aim for larger ones.
No matter what, just say no
Learn to say no. Even to your horse. In fact, especially to your horse. For most of us, our natural instincts lead us to help others. However, are you sacrificing your own needs to consistently take care of other peoples needs, even your horse's? Or are you taking time out of each day to pamper yourself and recharge your batteries? Maybe you are spreading yourself too thin?
If you are spreading yourself too thin, it will lead to worry, discontent and many sleepless nights. You will feel anxious and get depressed. This will do you riding and your horse no good.
So you aren't good enough?
Do you tell yourslf that you are not good enough to jump a clear round or get a high dressage score? Do you feel like you deserve whatever you get? Focusing on negative thoughts causes loss of self-esteem depression. If you do not respect yourself, how can you expect your horse to respect you and do as you ask?
If you are one of those people who at interviews, when asked about your qualities, skills, etc, rambles on about your bad qualities, you need to stop now. Some of us are lost at words when it comes to speaking highly of ourselves. For some people this seems selfish, or boisterous, yet it is not.
Be your own life coach. Build your personal confidence by avoiding negative thinking. Your riding confidence will increase in tandem. Learn to become your own best friend and give yourself frequent compliments. Stop criticizing your every move, and forget about past mistakes and focus on your future. Know your weaknesses, and know your strengths, just as you know your horse's strengths and failings.
Or is it your horse / trainer / equipment that isn't good enough?
So many times, we do not take full responsibility of our own actions. We blame others for our mistakes or misfortunes. Do not obsess over past mistakes, but do not live in denial either. Stop blaming others (including ou horse!)
We all make our share of bad choices in life. This is a natural part of living. Learn from your mistakes and move ahead.
If you are stuck in a spiral of negative thinking and feel you cannot escape, engage the services of an equestrian life coach. It will without doubt be one of the most empowering decisions you ever make to increase your horse riding confidence.
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