A Makeover for the Hillary Clinton of "yesterday"

I walked into Dunkin' Donuts two days before what would be a very close New Hampshire primary. As I was ordering my egg and cheese on a plain bagel (toasted), I glanced down at the newspaper stand near the counter. The Boston Herald had a front page headline that morning which exclaimed: "She's So Yesterday". The picture under the headline caption showed the face of an aging Hillary Clinton. Her picture was accompanied by an image of the vinyl record of the Beatles hit "Yesterday ".

Rush Limbaugh had done a somewhat similar story on Hillary Clinton several weeks ago. He had questioned whether people in this society would vote for an aging woman for President who had wrinkles in a culture of perfect faces and slim and tight figures. At the time I figured that coming from Rush Limbaugh, this was an attack from the right of the political spectrum on Hillary Clinton. Now I am beginning to think that he may have been on to something.

However, when I read that newspaper headline, I realized the trouble the Clinton presidential campaign is in against the much younger candidate, Barack Obama. In fact, these tabloid political attacks on her may now have reached the point of making the entire "Boomer" generation a potential thing of the past.

This has touched a little too close to home with me. I never thought I would say this but allow me to give the Hillary Clinton campaign some unsolicited advice in order for her to capture the younger voter of today from Barack Obama. Here is my ten point (tongue somewhat in cheek) makeover for candidate Hillary Clinton, a person whom the Boston Herald newspaper refers to as "So Yesterday".

1. Get your husband (Bill Clinton) off of the campaign trail. He talks mostly about himself. He never received 50% of the vote in any election he has won. The two Presidents for the price of one approach makes people uncomfortable. The back to the future approach does not work. He looks like a relic and makes you both look like yesterday’s news. Have him advise you quietly behind the scenes. He can be heard but not seen.

2. Keep your smiling daughter (Chelsea) on the campaign trail. She makes you look like a good mother. She reminds voters that you could be the first female elected President. She makes you look less programmed and more human.

3. Look and act like a real person. Everything in your campaign appears scripted. All your responses look like they are measured and calculated to appeal to the latest poll numbers. Those spontaneous tears the other day may have been the reason for your margin of victory in New Hampshire. However you can't expect to cry the day before the next primary election and have it work again.

4. Hope that you win the Democratic primary and run against Republican Fred Thompson in the fall. He is so “last week” while you are only “so yesterday“. I don’t think you will have to worry about winning the youth vote in that general election.

5. Stop running primarily on the issue of your experience. The voters are furious at politicians in Washington D. C. They think that things "inside the beltway" are broken and need to be fixed. Today's voters are mentally storming the gates of their government. They don't want someone to tell them they are an insider and know how it runs. The point is that they don't like how it runs.

6. Really embrace the issue of change. Create a plan to change the government. The plan should be bold. The plan should mention the first 100 days and what you would do as the first female President. Don't consult polls. Tell us what you honestly want to do. A politician that does that would certainly represent real change.

7. Insist that Barrack Obama tell everyone what he would change. What does his plan consist of anyway? We have heard much about "hope" and "change." We have not heard many details. If you do not make him outline his plan, you can bet the Republicans in the general election will do so instead.

8. Stop using the phrase " I have the battle scars to prove it" in reference to your experience in the 1990s with Universal Healthcare. It makes you sound like you should be honored with a pancake breakfast at the local war veterans post.

9. Say WIFI , Bluetooth, Xbox and GPS often. It doesn't matter that you may not know what these terms mean. Just make sure you say them. Also, make sure you watch plasma and HDTV and have an Ipod. Do not mention the Beatles, Cher, Mary Tyler Moore, or Woodstock at any time.

10. Keep your chin up (don't let it sag). Hold your head high (don't worry about face lifts) and stop exercising to the Richard Simmons show every morning on those VCR tapes. We use DVD players now and Richard Simmons is "totally yesterday."

If you do all these things, you still may not win this election. However, your campaign would feature a forward-looking real person, who has energy and who addresses the voters’ desire for real change. You could even transform yourself into the new age candidate of "today".

At the very least, with this type of makeover, the newspapers would never again show you under the tabloid headline: "She's So Yesterday". For a Baby Boomer, that is fast becoming an important victory in itself.