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From First Lady to President of the United States

It absolutely drives me crazy every time I hear people say, “Oh she was such a controversial first lady, she’d be a terrible president.” Or worse, “her husband was some hick from the south that should have never been president, and why should she!” It’s just ridiculous.

Lady Bird Johnson will make an excellent president. That is why Murray Trillionaire is coming out today in full support of Lady Bird Johnson in 2008. Lady Bird will be 97 by the time she is inaugarated in early 2009, so she has plenty of experience. She learned first hand from her husband how to keep our troops in a foreign country to fight a losing battle. Only she will know how to keep our troops in Iraq well into the 23rd century. Barack Obama’s wife is only a lawyer. So what the hell does he know about foreign intervention in sovereign states? Or civil rights? Lady Bird was at the forefront of the Civil Rights movement in the 1960s. If she could get Sammy Davis Junior to be best friends with Frank Sinatra, then you know that it’s just a matter of time before a Sunni and a Shiite get an act together in Vegas on the strip.

Now Lady is being very coy and has yet to throw her cowboy hat into the ring. She’s not yet “officially” a candidate. But I think she’s being quite clever and wants to see if Nancy Reagan will be running. Nobody wants to run against Nancy. Don’t get me wrong, Nancy Reagan would make an excellent Secretary of Housing and Urban Development or US ambassador to Kenya, but I just don’t see her as president. She’s too liberal!

Jackie Kennedy was a hard act to follow. Jackie was poised, elegant, beautiful, and gained the love and respect of the nation when her husband was assassinated. But even though she was a hard act to follow, Lady Bird managed to “fill her shoes”. George Bush is going to be a hard act to follow too. Not going to be easy to fit into those cowboy boots. But Lady Bird can.

A lot of people want to know where she stands on key issues like abortion or gay rights. She’s like 95 years old. I don’t think she gives a damn. And that’s the way a president should be. She is for people planting wild flowers and against people serving vegetarian chili. It doesn’t matter if you use ground pork or beef, but chili needs to have some meat in it.

I’ve even come up with a little slogan: So Rudy Giuliani and John McCain, say what you want, but your nonsense and crap, I’ve already heard. That’s why my vote is going with Miss Lady Bird.

Dr. Murray Trillionaire

Dr. Murray Trillionaire is a reknowned world expert with doctoral degrees in Yiddish Country Music from Brigham Young University and the History of Medieval New Jersey from the University of Atlantic City. He is the founder of the psychological school of thought commonly known as Trillionairism that believes that the answers to all of mankind’s problems can be found in the lyrics of pop songs from the 80s (particularly those from Culture Club). He is a tireless advocate of getting paper mache building recognized as an Olympic sport but is not sure if it should be part of the Summer or Winter Games. Get to know more about Murray by visiting his website www.murraytrillionaire.com

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