Which family of traits do you belong?

Which family of traits do you belong?

You have a family. You're mother, father, brothers or sisters. These are the people you grew up with, but are you aware there's a different kind of family that lives within you? They're as much a part of your life as your real family. You invited them into your life and asked them to stay. For better or worse.

The choice of a child?

At several different points in childhood there are two family types who apply to our minds. One is failure. The other, success. You're free to choose which one you invite into your life. Unfortunately, the wrong choice or complete imbalance is often the outcome.

Many of the mistakes you make belong to you now. It's best to own them. If a life based on negative traits was the choice you made, it wasn't your fault. You lacked the maturity at that time to make wise decisions.

Childhood was a critical time when your real-life family influenced the course of your life. You needed them to help you make the right decisions. If they were under the control of failure, this is a cycle which needs no explanation.


I'm not always a failure?

No one is always anything. We're complex, human. What are you most of the time? There will come a time in your life when you can no longer hide from yourself. Pull the shroud from your excused ego and ask yourself with truth. Are you mostly successful, or not?

If you're holding the keys to success, self-confidence and control, congratulations. This is a wonderful thing, but there are many others who don't feel this way.

Failure is the result of insufficient resources. It's famous for rendering you incapable of completing goals and tasks. When this is your influencing family, watch as good intentions drift downwards to settle on the floor of your soul.

Success is grown. First inwards, then outwards. The polar opposite of failure, success comes in many forms and all of them bring happiness.


Getting to know them

If you're living with Failure, these are the primary family members of the traits you possess. Welcome to your new family. You've known them all along yet rarely had the courage to fight them.

The root traits of Failure. The father, mother, and their offspring.

Fear; The dream-killer, the life-giver.
Ignorance; An empty bucket with not a drop of water grows nothing.
Complacency; The root of indifference and laziness. It's living suicide.
Indecisiveness; Society will make your decisions and rape your independence.

They've disgraced you, bled your soul, beat you to death and you still accept them for what they are. Your family. In ways, much worse than anything your real-life family does or will do. They treat you like a dog. Kick you, punish for no good reason. Showing not an ounce of love or compassion for you, an attachment holds to them as a child holds a familiar worn blanket.

They don't act independently. Where there is one, the others are close by. They're devoted to each other, bonding in chain, confiding in each other for strength. They'll rule your life as a unit of pain.

You may think of the family of failure in this way. Failure has many different faces of personality as an extension of the four primary family members;
Fear
Ignorance
Complacency
Indecisiveness

Some of these personalities are procrastination, self-defeat and selfishness. We may also refer to them as lesser traits of failure. The root always lies within the primary four though.

All other negative traits traits can be attributed to one or more of the primary family as the source. We're exposing all of them for what they are. Ruthless, cunning, manipulative, destroying.

For example, let's suppose you have a problem with self-confidence. Trying to discover, then apply ways or thoughts of mind to become more confident may not provide the results you'd expect.

What you will end with is false-confidence, telling yourself to, "be confident." It won't work. You cannot possibly feel what genuine confidence feels like by hacking at the plant. Anyone you come into play with will see through the facade. You must attack at it's root source.

Lack of self-confidence is a personality trait of fear. Fear has many faces but only one base emotion. It is the most powerful negative/positive inborn trait known to man and displays the yin/yang principle at it's truest in natural law.

We can trace it this way.
Fear of failure
Have failed before
Not good enough
Not good enough for self
Not good enough to feel good about self
Lack of self-respect
Lack of self-confidence.

Are these hard and fast rules? Not at all. There are times when you will muster the strength, conviction or knowledge to overtake your negative traits in argument. But they'll be there, waiting for the next, which they will surely win.


Where did they come from and how do I get rid of them?

Choosing wisely, even as an unguided child may seem like an easy decision. Yet, so many of us choose the path of failure. Why is this?

Two of these traits come hardwired into you as an operating system is to a computer. Fear, with it's many faces is necessary to your survival. Without it, you may not last much past five years because... Your were born ignorant, as is everyone.

Laziness and indecisiveness are the children of these traits. You weren't born inherently with them, but as a child you naturally lean this direction. All it takes is a little parental absence to fall into, or say, be sucked into their black hole.

Fear and ignorance cannot be eliminated from you. The other two can but you'll forever carry shades of their disgrace in your mind.

This doesn't mean you can't achieve consistent success in your life though. With tremendous effort and building of new habits to replace the old, you will master control of self rather than your masters controlling of you.

This is how you invite the better family of traits into your life.

We will explore these traits in detail and discover ways you can dissolve yourself of their control in future articles.

Remember, all is not lost if failure is an accepted part of you. The habits that confine you must be ripped out of their seat of control, and replaced by another, more loving family. The family of Success.


Why should I choose success? It's too much effort.

This isn't you. This is the collective voice of all four of your family robbing you of your life.

They'll lead you nowhere but down a road of regrets and sorrow by your times end. What would have been, what should have been, what could have been.

These traits must be eliminated from your life now, at all costs.