Writing Like a Columnist

Whether or not I agreed with them or liked their writing styles, I have always greatly admired newspaper columnists.

From Russell Baker to Erma Bombeck, from Molly Ivins to Dave Barry, these prolific men and women past and present have managed to belt out column after column, week after week, on deadline, over the course of decades-all the while maintaining a more than reasonable level of consistency. While other types of writers moan about writer's block, a dearth of ideas, lack of time, and a host of other writing maladies, columnists write, write and write some more. No excuses.

In Syracuse, New York, we have a local humor columnist named Jeff Kramer. Now, Kramer's not originally from Syracuse-in fact, I believe he's from the other side of the United States, and prior to coming here he was a columnist for a newspaper in Santa Ana, California. So when he kicked off his column here, a humorous look at Central New York life from a newcomer's viewpoint, I wasn't prepared to like him (come on, it's like your family-you can pick on them, but you don't like it when outsiders do.)

Five years later, Kramer is no longer "the new guy" or "the outsider" ; moreover, pretty much from the get-go, he was able win me and thousands of other Central New Yorkers over as he poked delightful fun at our local leaders, institutions, news, events, communities and quirks. I'd never realized how truly funny the Syracuse area was until Jeff Kramer came to town-and I grew up here!

In any event, if you truly want to get published, it makes sense to approach writing as a columnist would. During the typewriter age, columnists more than likely stared at the blank page the same way other kinds of writers did. Similarly, they probably stare at the blinking cursor on their computer screens today just like we do. The difference is, they stare at it less and type more. Thus, they get published regularly (one or more times a week), and other writers don't.

How do they accomplish that? Let's hear from a few of the columnists themselves:

Erma Bombeck: "Discipline is what I do best... If you're a professional writer, you write...You write whether you feel like it, you write whether you've got an idea, you write whether it's Pulitzer Prize material. You just do it, that's it."

Ah, discipline. Sounds so nasty, doesn't it, like a ruler on the knuckles or standing in the corner. But look how much fun Bombeck made discipline look. And how prolific she was.

Ellen Goodman: "When you write about what interests you, you never feel like you're in a rut, because you're writing about what's interesting to you."

This sounds like a no brainer, but then how many times do we find outselves plodding through a writing assignment that barely keeps us awake much less captivated? It makes sense that the more time we spend writing about topics that intrigue or move us, the more writing we'll do.

Dave Barry: "Most people are looking for shortcuts, which is why most people never have writing careers."

Writing is work. Good to great writing takes practice. Getting published means writing, researching, sending queries and proposals, submitting work, risking rejection, developing the seed of an idea into a full grown story or article.

The Internet has made getting published easier, but not creating profitable writing careers. Dave's right, and he's "not making this up"-there are no short cuts.

Art Buchwald: "Just when you think there's nothing to write about, Nixon says, 'I am not a crook.' Jimmy Carter says, 'I have lusted after women in my heart.' President Reagan says, 'I have just taken a urinalysis test, and I am not on dope.'"

Buchwald loved the fact that politicians, particularly U.S. presidents, provided him with a constant and unending stream of fresh material for his columns. Likewise, writing inspiration surrounds us like the very air we breathe. We need only to see, hear and/or experience it, take it in, study, explore and shape this inspiration from our unique vantage points and with our own words.

Yes, all writers can learn much from columnists, whether it involves discipline, focus, or simply a love for putting all we see, do, hear, feel and experience around us into words. They did it, still do, and yes, if we approach writing with a columnist's mindset, so can we.