5 Effective Ways to Attract a Woman Who is the Only Child

The order in which you were born into your family strongly influences your personality, researchers have found. The firstborn children in a family tend to be smarter and more achievement oriented according to the theories originally developed by psychiatrist Alfred Adler, and children without any siblings – “only children” – are similar in personality.

Knowing this, and understanding the quirks and idiosyncracies that come with being an only child, will make it easier to attract and hold onto a woman who grew up with brothers or sisters.

1. Make her feel special. This is good advice when it comes to any woman, but especially with the woman who’s an only child. During their formative years, only children are the center of attention in their home. They have no competition for parental affection, and they’re usually praised by adult friends of the family for being bright, attractive and delightful in every way. Many only children grow up with vivid memories of the culture shock they experienced when they started school, and have spent much of their lives feeling deprived of that special attention they received when they were small. If you shower her with undivided attention, she’ll definitely respond.

2. Don’t expect her to quietly sit in the corner. Only children tend to be perfectionists, and they want to be the best at anything they do. If you need to be the “star” of the relationship, with your woman gazing adoringly up at you while you get all the applause, don’t pursue an only child. You can be an equal in a relationship with an only child, but you’ll never be the main event – they demand far too much of the spotlight to willingly give it all up for their partner.

3. Give her space when she needs it. Although it may seem counter to everything in the previous two points, only children need time to be alone. As children, they spent a lot of time on their own reading, playing and entertaining themselves, and as adult they often find being around people all the time emotionally tiring. After spending so much of her time as the center of attention, she’ll need to recharge and refocus by spending time by herself – don’t take it personally, just respect her need to be by herself for awhile. She’ll thank you for it.

4. Be patient when she’s in a perfectionist frenzy. Only children are conscientious, achievement-oriented, and driven, and that can come out in ways that can strain a relationship. A simple dinner party can become a project that rivals a military campaign, involving weeks of planning recipes, frenzied housecleaning, two full days of cooking and a table set so perfectly that Martha Stewart would be jealous, all so she can shrug and say, “Oh, it was nothing” when her guests praise her lavishly. Do your best to tolerate her crazed obsession with every detail, and don’t try to tell her that she’s sweating the small stuff – for only children, there is no small stuff, just a whole lot of things that need to be perfected.

5. Don’t spoil her. While it’s advisable to show an only child a lot of affection, avoid the temptation to indulge her every whim. Only children are experts at getting their own way, and they’ll do it every chance they get. The problem is, they’re so charming that you may not even realize that you’re being pushed around! She’ll make you feel appreciated for doing so many little things for her that you may not even notice how far it’s gone until you suddenly realize that you’re fetching her drinks, massaging her feet, changing the oil in her car and doing her laundry. Make sure that there’s an equal amount of give-and-take in the relationship, or else you’ll find yourself less a true partner than a manservant.

Keep in mind that intellect and creativity are important to only children. A study at Dartmouth University found that new parents fear for their first or only-born children’s physical safety more than they do for their later children, so only children tend to become more interested in indoor activities – reading, writing, art – than outdoor activities. A woman who is an only child will take pride in her intelligence, and won’t stand for being treated as just a “dumb girl” – so laugh at her jokes and compliment her quick mind.

There are challenges to getting involved with an only child, but you’ll find a woman without siblings to be smart, creative and loyal. It’s certainly worth the extra effort to maintain a relationship with such a woman – should she find you worthy!