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5 Mistakes People Make in an Attempt to Revive the Relationship
Author: Joy Bates  | Posted: 09-09-2007 | Comments: 0 | Views: 582 | Rating: (112)  (?) 
Recovering from a broken heart is not an easy thing to do. The many sleepless nights, loss of appetite, sadness, depression, and other distressing symptoms that manifest during this horrible experience can be traumatic and emotionally draining. Unfortunately, everyone undergoes a breakup, separation, or divorce at some stage in their lives. In an attempt to cope with this issue, people start blaming themselves for everything that went wrong in the relationship. They also begin playing the “what if” game in their heads. For example, “what if I said this” or “what if I took that approach, then none of this would have happened”, and so on. This pattern of behavior continues until they come to the realization that there’s hope on the horizon for a possible reconciliation.
Because people sometimes act out of anger, bitterness, and frustration, they tend to apply methods that don’t work or just aggravate the situation. Further, some people are simply not equipped with the necessary “love” survival skills. But then again, who is? Here are five common mistakes people make in trying to revive an old relationship:
1. Give ultimatums. To give someone an ultimatum is considered manipulative. Can you imagine being pushed into a corner and forced to making a decision? A decision that’s in your favor. It’s bad enough the person is already suffering from guilt, anger, sadness, etc. Remember, whether you’re the dumper or dumpee, it’s a natural phenomenon for both to experience similar symptoms. So, to force someone into making a quick decision is a form of bullying. Not only will your ex resent you, but he/she is more likely to choose the other option. If anything, give your ex time and space to heal and reflect.
2. Beg for your ex’s return. This pathetic tactic never works. It will only worsen the situation and will ultimately reveal your lack of self-confidence. What you need is to garner respect; not pity.
3. Use of threat. Threatening your ex is not going to win him/her back. Saying something like, “If you don’t come back in two weeks, I will start seeing other people!” Or, “If you’re not interested in making this work, you can forget about being friends.” This approach will just add fuel to the fire. Your ex will become furious and resentful.
4. Play the blame game. The last thing you want to do is blame your ex for his/her share of the mistakes. Yes, it takes two to tango, but you don’t have to rub it in. If you happen to engage in a conversation with your ex, try to maintain a positive dialogue without pointing fingers.
5. Use your illness as an excuse. If you have some kind of medical condition or illness, do not use that to try to gain your ex’s love back. The best result you can achieve is his/her sympathy. That’s it.
When trying to win your ex back, always remember to exercise kindness, honesty, and tact. Also, your aim should be to rebuild love and trust, so steer clear from any form of manipulation.
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Article Source: http://www.articlesbase.com/relationships-articles/5-mistakes-people-make-in-an-attempt-to-revive-the-relationship-211335.html
About the Author:Joy Bates is a co-owner of relationship-remedy.com, which provides articles, e-books, advice, and the like pertaining to relationships. Come visit our website www.relationship-remedy.com, your gateway to a happy relationship.
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