"Are You Open To Love?" I ask. You say "Of course! What kind of question is that?, who isn't?". Isn't it amazing that we think that and yet, there are millions of people who say they want love yet when it comes to the crunch they are not really open to it?
Imagine you want to buy something. You go to the shop. You see the items you want in the shop. But then you pick the item and just before you are about to pay for it, your mind tells you..."no I don't want this" and you go put it back on the shelf. How many times have you done that? Is it because you didn't like the item? Is it because you want the item but not yet open to having it? Food for thought!
Imagine an owner of a shop who just started in business. What if the shop had all the amazing products in the world inside and never opened for business? They could have the most unbelievable quality products with features loved by many customers but the shop never opened for business? How could a potential customer get to see the products inside? How could a customer relationship be established if the customer never got to see the products inside the shop?
We could each have amazing qualities inside us. We all have beautiful qualities this world needs. It might be our ability to sincerely show our compassion. It might be our ability to make another person feel like a million bucks, or our ability to cook like the world's best chef, or our ability to just hold another human being in such a way that they feel wanted, or our ability to light up the other person's heart with our smile. It varies and the list is endless. How can another human being see our inner qualities and get to enjoy our abilities if we are closed for love?
What do I mean by that? Well, everyone needs love. We all feel lonely now and then. So we think we need love and go around our daily chores thinking we will bump into the person we want to spend the rest of our lives with. Occasionally we meet people we think we like and get along. We think, "wow! He or she seems to be exactly the one I am looking for" etc.
Time goes by and we get to know that person who seem to fit our bill of qualities we want in a lover / mate. We get to a point where we need to make conclusive decisions regarding the relationship. We need to decide whether to get more closer to this person and get him or her committed to you either as an exclusive boyfriend or girlfriend or move in or get engaged etc.
The moment arrives when you are put on the spot to make a decision to get committed to the decision to move forward to the next step. You panic. You come up with all kinds of excuses not go to the next step. You wonder why you can't seem to make the decision to go forward. You can't seem to put the finger on why this is the case. On a deeper level, we are sometimes confused about love. This can be due to several reasons. Some are as follows;
1) Painful Past Experiences
2) Loss of Independence
3) Lack Of Time
4) Fear Of Commitment
5) Busy Lifestyle
6) Financial Reasons
7) Our Need To Remain Who We Are
8) Fear Of Intimacy
9) Lack of Self Esteem
10) Perfectionist Mentality
The above reasons list can differ from one person to another as each one of us are from varying cultural, family, belief systems, value systems and other social conditioning. So the above can vary from one factor being applicable to you to more than one or even all of them being applicable to you. Only you can self explore which ones ring a bell when you look deeper inside yourself.
Let me explain each of the above in more detail so you can better understand what each of the above points mean and how it relates to you being open to love or not. To make this article more readable and friendly I have kept it to an acceptable length so I don't overload you with information today. This is a 10 part article series to explore this very important issue. In part 2 of this article I will go further into each one of the above 10 factors. Don't miss it!
Copyright 2006 Joshua Danicio
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Frequently Asked Questions
Is there a good chance were gonna be back together
By: debbiebooboobaby | 14-07-2008
me and my boyfriend split and at first he said it had nottin to do with me it was something he just had to do but now its slowly coming out why 1 reason was cause i stopped going out with him having fun and 2 was cause i wasnt into his motorcycye club. well he found out i was thinking about going out with someone else and he got all upset about it and told me he didnt like that and that hes never loved or cared about anyone like me and he never will and he wanted to talk so we did and decided to just be friends and see where it goes but lately weve been kinda acting like when we first met so i need to know if there is any chance at all that we will be back together.
Daycare payments - divorce - one parent unemployed
By: Trish | 14-07-2008
I am divorced and have 2 small children. My ex is now unemployed and says he cannot pay for his half of daycare. Our divorce papers say that we shall each split the costs of daycare equally as we share custody equally. I gave him over $100,000 in a cash settlement upon selling our house. He says he cannot touch the money for 10 yrs as he put it into an account that does not allow him access to it. I think this is untrue and that if he touches any of the money he simply loses his interest. I work and need the daycare for the days I have the children. Can he be made to pay his half even though he is unemployed and on unemployment payments? Also, can he be made to use his assets (namely, the money)?
What should i do?
By: michelle | 14-07-2008
my man and i have been together for fifteen years and he was always good to me .he used to weigh 280lbs but two years ago he lost the weight and now weighs 175lbs. he was never a very good looking guy but that never mattered to me.i love him no matter what. lately he thinks he really something hot and even though we are togetherhe tries going after other women and rubs it in my face when he gets hit in and what not. now i love him but since he has become another person i have tried to ride it out and hope it was a phase but nothing has changed so far.we have 4 kids togetherbut i am not sure if its worth staying with him.im not feeling good about myself and it dosent help that i am not what i used to be . i am a lil chubby now and things like that.he tells me that i am insecure and its all in my head when i confront him or tell him how i feel.i dont think i am.he says he still loves me and is attracted to me and still wants to be with me but we dont barely ever sleep together.Im so conflicted! i need some one elses thoughts on this.what should i do?
Wife asked if people need good credit to get a ...
By: kingkjun2000 | 14-07-2008
wife asked if people need good credit to get a cell phone. is she ready to get her own cell phone? we are currently separated.
Should i stay of go!!!!!
By: nani24 | 14-07-2008
i got engaged to my boyfriend of 3years, about 2 months ago i found out he was having a affair. i was living with him a i moved out... the affair was so serious that he brought her around his mother his daughter and on top his brother is dating the mistress best friend...i was so hurt i just left, my ex and i have been talkin in hopes to save our realtionship, i agreed and we have been trying but is not the same, im no the same person i was we go to dinner and the movies and functions but im always quiet i dont speak like i use to, i'm always pensative and i dont tell him i love him or hug nothing like i used...i dont love him dearly, but i just cant believe he would do this to me...there are times i hate him so much i dont want him in sight and i just get moody around him... and he has notice always askin whats wrong, why i dont say i love him etc. he has promised he wont mess it up but i feel this ager, i know if other people that have over come situations like this....there are times i feel like a fool for sticking around and i just say i'm better then this....i wonder is this normal and im so confussed!!!
No intamacy
By: trina | 14-07-2008
e is very affectionate. he always kisse me goodmornig, before/after work,& goodnight. He calls & lets me know when he is leaving & arriving. he tells me he loves me ALL day long! but when it comes t intamacy forget it! and if it does happen, it's a 3 minute quickie. maybe once a month.
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