Are your Words Hurting your Relationships?

Are you feeling trouble with your relationships? Is their uneasiness with your spouse or children? What about your co-workers? Are you snapping with your best friends? We all have ups and downs with our relationships. If you would like to improve your relationship, you may look at what you say and more importantly how you say it. We don’t always realize the TONE in which we speak to those we care about.

I was talking to my grown son last week on several different occasions and I found myself snapping at him a couple of times. He asked “what’s with you –what did I do to make you upset with me”? I just sat there and realized that he did nothing. I was just annoyed with my day and found myself not really being present with my conversation with him. After I hung up the phone, I felt really bad because I know I had hurt his feelings for no apparent reason. It is so easy to inflict our annoyances on others without even realizing we are doing it. At that point, I decided it was time to really look at the way I speak to others and make a change. I did not want the relationships I have with others to suffer from my negligence.

How many times have you been on the receiving end of a sharp clerk or a busy husband or a teenager?
We all know that feeling and should well remember it when talking to others.

Below are some things to think about and implement if you want to improve your relationships.

Actually LISTEN to the words you say throughout the day. Listen for your TONE. How often did you raise your voice, speak in a sharp or sarcastic way, or in a hurtful way. Others might not say anything to you, but I guarantee they felt your words and voice. After too many times of this, it begins to wear on those you have inflicted your words upon.

Make a conscious CHOICE to make a change on how you speak to others.

Put yourself in their shoes and see how they may be affected by your words.

BEFORE you speak, think about what you are going to say. Even if you have to take an extra breath to compose your thoughts, it is worth the effort. It may even slow down your approach to others.

PRESENTATION is everything in learning how to communicate successfully with others. How can you say something that will benefit the other person?

REMEMBER what this person means to you.

If you stumble and forget and say something you know you shouldn’t, recognize it, forgive yourself and then apologize. It is amazing how a recognition and apology will help.

Know that you will not change in a day or even a week. But with daily acknowledgment of what you are doing and making the changes as they occur, it will soon become the habit of being aware of your words and the power they have over others.

Persevere. It is worth it.