Gerald Anthony has a PhD in Counseling and is current President of The Faith Hope and Love Foundation. He enjoys culture, languages, and helping others.
There is currently a magic product on the market called, “The Dirt Fish.” The bag promotes that it gives you a sample of dirt, you just pour this dirt in a fish bowl and within 1 month it will turn into a real life fish. People buy this product with the question of how can dirt turn into a fish?
In our relationships a similar occurrence happens as we will often bait and hook our partners with facades of who we really are. These facades however also create a special ‘growth magic’ in our relationships. Two reasons that growth takes place regardless of the facades are because:
1-The facades do not stem from deception but ignorance. Often it is not that we want to “trick” our partner into liking us, but we want to simply put our best foot forward. In relationships, misunderstandings are often created because we often do not understand ourselves well enough to be able to communicate that thought process to our partner. As we discover more about ourselves, it naturally becomes part of the self-discovery and presentation process.
2-Intentional deception will always have consequences. If one decides to intentionally deceive their partner in a relationship, the relationship CAN NOT mature. A relationship that is built on deception a majority of the time will end from lack of trust or from the necessary investment (time and financial) being evaluated as insubstantial. In the short-term deception can foster growth because it encourages discovery. In the long-term however there is nothing to build a foundation from.
In our relationships we will present the magic of The Dirt Fish, leaving mystery and growth toward the future. However in all relationships, the façade is polished away with time and you discover that the dirt was not simply dirt all along, but minute systems of growth covered by earth.
Feel free to use this article. We simply ask that you link back to our site, www.fhandlove.org.cn/home.html in return.
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