Michael Douglas is a relationship expert and the webmaster of love-lectures.com where he helps you in fighting the heartbreak blues and provides tips to avoid a bitter break up. Here are some sure signs to know if you are about to get dumped so that you can take some immediate steps in order to avoid it.
There is only one thing worse than a broken relationship, dealing with it, especially for men. So we give you a few pointers on how to make sure that you come out of the break-up smelling of roses and also being credited with some sensitivity.
Nurture your relation ship like a career:
So you are one of those who don't expect your relationship, like your job to last for longer than a few months. In that case, make sure that you are on your best behaviour. Treat her well. In such a case you are always assured of a good reference in case a future conquest happens to be pals with an ex.
Spend, spend and then spend some more:
Women will overlook everything but not a cheapskate. Now we are not suggesting you spend all your savings wining and dining her in style. Take her out on intimate dates and surprise her with flowers from time to time. She'll appreciate your thoughtfulness.
Know when to say goodbye:
According to Woody Allen, a relationship is like a shark: "It has to constantly move forward or it dies." If you sense a dead shark on your hands, cut your losses and say your goodbye. Far too many men make the mistake of prolonging a bad relationship simply because they don't want to hurt their partner's feelings. However noble the sentiment, that only allows angst and resentment to build.
Don't play the blame game
So you are breaking up because she is a shrew or she is always suspicious. Fine but don't ever make the mistake of telling her so. You don't have to be a fall guy, you just have to be a gentleman.
Don't go back for some TLC
In the aftermath of your breakup, you'll likely find yourself lonely and bored. Don't go back for a one night stand with your ex thinking it would be no-strings attached. This will only create complications, for you never know what the other person is thinking. What if she feels that this could be a move towards reconciliation or what if you had second thoughts about getting back and she does not?
Avoid the drunken phone call
The only thing worse than going back for sex is calling your ex at 2:00 a.m. and begging her, for anything, from a night of passion to getting back together. Despite your best intentions, your drunken phone calls are a potent anti-aphrodisiac that make you sound just desperate.
Stay friendly following the breakup
Chinese military strategist Sun Tzu was clearly on to something when he advised: "Keep your friends close and your enemies closer." You'll never be "bestest buds" again, but by remaining friendly with your ex she is more likely to see you in a positive light. At the end of the day there's no better endorsement than a former lover who still sings your praises.
Be nice to her friends
Just because you have broken up with her does not mean you need to break up with the friends, especially the ones whose company you enjoy. Make an attempt to be cordial with her pals when you see them and try your best to take an interest in their lives. Who knows they might hook you up with someone else?
Resist the need to show and tell
It's only natural to want to gossip about your ex following a breakup. But gossip has a way of spreading and if hell hath no fury like a woman scorned then trust us, it is no better with a woman who find out you are telling all her secrets to the world. No woman wants to date a guy who kisses and tells.
Don't show off your next girlfriend
It's okay to run into the arms of another woman following your breakup, just don't rub it in your ex's face. If she asks if you're seeing someone, feel free to admit it, but don't broadcast every detail of your torrid new love affair. While you're out celebrating your single status, she might be finding it hard to come to terms with the break-up. So show some sensitivity.
Be positive
What if you don't have a dating history? The bad news is women distrust a grown man who hasn't dated as much as banks distrust clients without a credit history. The good news is every woman has a desperately single friend she's dying to set up. So, try your best to stay upbeat and positive. Speak well of women when you're in their company and show them the respect they deserve.
The most important lesson to remember in a relationship is to treat others the way you want to be treated. It might sound cliched but there is a reason why this rule has endured so well over the years. Give your girlfriend the energy and attention she deserves and in the end she'll remember you as "one of the good ones."
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