Get A Man, You May Lose Your Friends

Look around you. If the women in your support group (girlfriends) do not have successful relationships, or have been in one (widow), you maybe in an environment not conducive to getting and keeping a good man.

In my research for my book, I noticed something very interesting with women. When one got a new man, she spent most of her time with him, the girlfriends gave her the negative tone and the comments: “Girllllll, don’t lose your friends because he came along.” "I just don't want to see you get hurt is all." “We will be there if he leaves.” “Honey, don’t give up your friends just because you got a man.” “She got a new man and don’t know us now.” “Girl, I’m through with you! You act as if you can’t pickup the phone and call somebody once in while, since you got that new man.” Of course, you don’t want to cut off all ties with your friends. They are as important to your wellbeing, as your new relationship. I just want you to be aware when your friends and family don’t have your best interest in mind.

If all you hear are negative comments, or are being talked about behind your back by your support system. This is not good for your relationship and you must ask are you in a good environment? In my book, I call this sistahood peer-pressure. If there have episodes of verbal, or physical abuse that you have been overlooking then it is a totally different situation. I am talking about your relationship with a man who is supportive of you and cares about you.

Here is the point. I'm sure your girlfriends love you for the most part; BUT, I’ve seen this in too many cases not to mention. Those negative comments coming from your friends and even some family members can be the first line of attack to your relationship. They will put things in your head and cause you to act differently.

A man in my research told men recently that he was in a relationship where his woman treated him as if stole something in front of her friends and some family members; but she actually really loved him and he loved her! She just could not display or express it in front of her support system. He said he would always be angry after hanging around her friends. He is a people person, but her environment was negative about everything. He always communicated his concerns, but to no avail. When he could not take it anymore he left. She expressed her pain but totally understood his actions. She said that her girlfriends and some family members were jealous of her boyfriends in the past and he was no different. She said that they are always putting negative suggestions in her mind. “Girl, he probably has a bunch of women.” ”He ain’t no good, I heard this about him” “Make him pay this, or buy that for you.” “He just bought that gift to keep you from seeing someone else because this is what he is probably doing.” “You can’t trust that man.”

Bottom line: Your relationship problems could be something that you are totally ignoring- your friends and yes, some family members. Again, what type of relationship support environment do you reside?