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How To Make Friends And Have Lasting Relationships
Author: Bettye Jamerson  | Posted: 26-04-2007 | Comments: 0 | Views: 30 | Rating: (53)  (?) 
In an effort to help young adults achieve their personal best as they began their quest for life graduating from high school and going off to college, it's more than appropriate to offer words of wisdom as a guideline to assist them in setting boundaries and becoming responsible adults in the absence of the parental control they have become so accustomed to having.
Coming from an environment of imposed discipline, responsibility, and guidance to a totally no holes barred freedom. This is the perfect time to take the opportunity to stop, look and listen to the people around you and get an idea of which ones you want to allow into your life and space, and spending your time with in a relationship.
All of your life before now, your parents were the ones who chose your friends for you and decided who you would hang around with and who you would not---but now it's all up to you to choose the right people to develop relationships with. Choosing the right people to spend time with can either add to or subtract from our lives, so it is well worth the time it will take to observe and proceed with caution in your people selection.
A word of wisdom for young adults today is, don't be afraid to be alone. By spending time with yourself, you will be able to identify your likes and dislikes, strengths and weaknesses, and your wants and needs for the relationships you desire to develop with others---male and females. Believe me I know from first hand experience. When I went off to college, I had lived a very sheltered life where my friends were pretty much chosen for me by my parents. I had not been allowed to date until I was seventeen years old in an effort to protect me. But to my detriment, I had no clue as to how to judge people that I had not been allowed to communicate with resulting in some very traumatic experiences for me. So again, proceed with caution in choosing the people you spend time with.
Remember, not everyone is for you. And you definitely will not be for everyone. There will be people from all walks of life, some good and some not so good. Take the time to meet people on neutral ground and get an idea of the why's they have prioritized in their life. Never lose site of the fact that ultimately, the goal of everyone in college is to prepare themselves for their call in life. So, by starting out choosing good healthy relationships, you can remain focused on the reason for your being there in the first place.
There was a saying where I came from and it simply stated, "Birds of a feather flock together." Know that the people you chose to associate yourself with and hang out with, whether you behave like them or not, think like them or not, dress like them or not is usually the way others will perceive, treat and respond to you as they do to them. Know which relationships are good for you, healthy for you, long-term, short-term, too toxic and unhealthy, slated for a friend or should be just an acquaintance. Make it a practice to always set your standards and boundaries in every relationship you establish. This way, you will save yourself the emotional baggage, emotional chaos and guilt when you realize that this was not the relationship for you.
Finally, no man is an island and being a loner is not the answer. I encourage you to invest the time and effort into developing meaningful and healthy relationships with others and always set boundaries at the onset, ensuring that everyone understands as well as respects them. And if they don't, then this is more than likely not the relationship for you. Some of the relationships you develop at this point in your life will be lifetime relationships of great value to you, so go ahead and start a new life for yourself with people that will love, help, encourage and be there for you unconditionally, no matter what.
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Article Source: http://www.articlesbase.com/relationships-articles/how-to-make-friends-and-have-lasting-relationships-137930.html
About the Author:Bettye J. Jamerson is the author of Love: The Greatest Choice of All, a book about relationships. She is a communication and relationship expert, coach and speaker. She is available to speak at your seminar, colleges and universities. Contact her through her website at http://www.bettyejamerson.com.
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