Is Your Spouse Cheating? 7 Reasons To Ask

Copyright (c) 2009 Lucille Uttermohlen

So, what has your spouse been up to? Can you trust him / her to be where he / she said he / she would be? These signs will help you decide if the devil is loose in your blue heaven.

1. Going to the gym are we? Hey, we all want a tight 6 pack. Okay, we ladies, not so much. But, if Mr. Couch Potato is suddenly trying to look like he is only one degree from Kevin Bacon, he might be up to some mischief. In all fairness, if you and he have both made resolutions to get rid of the love handles, he may be as pure as the driven snow. But, if his interest in his physique is sudden, and you and he haven't so much as mentioned the subject to each other, it could be a sign of extra-marital inspiration.

2. Has the old sex drive taken a hit? If you used to go at it like bunnies, and he / she suddenly doesn't want it as often, or at all, it may not be the drive, but the new driver. If he / she isn't willing to talk about the change of attitude, you might do well to be suspicious. Suggest that he / she see a doctor to eliminate any physical reason for the sudden change. If he / she is unwilling to go, he / she may already know what the problem is.

3. It doesn't take 4 hours to buy a loaf of bread, and said loaf is not a purchase in need of emergency attention. If your spouse invents mysterious errands, and takes forever to do them, he / she may come back with the thing he / she was supposed to get, but he / she may be out getting some wild honey for him / herself.

4. Do you still talk? If he / she has found someone new, chances are he / she is all talked out when he / she gets home. If he / she seems distant and disinterested and he / she used to be a regular magpie, he / she may be blowing off steam on another boat. Suggest marriage counseling. If he / she isn't interested, you may want to reconsider what is going on in your relationship. 5. If he / she doesn't want to do things with you, but still wants to go out a lot, you may have a problem. We all need occasional nights out with our friends and without our significant others. This is normal. He may want to play poker with his buddies or she may want to go shopping with her pals. But if he / she suddenly wants to do a lot, and never with you along, he / she may have found another playmate.

6. Not as much fighting? Before you breathe a sigh of relief that he / she no longer finds your little quirks annoying, and doesn't seem to give a flying --- what you do, think affair. After all, unless he / she has joined a new religion, or has otherwise turned over a new leaf, he / she could just no longer care what you do because he / she has someone new whose faults are more interesting.

7. Has he / she gotten secretive? You don't have to know every move he / she makes. However, if he / she suddenly spends more time on the Internet then Bill Gates, has treated him / herself to a new cell phone or email account, or acts like he / she has more secrets then Hillary Clinton, he / she may be hiding someone he / she would rather you not meet.

Some marriages survive an affair. The couple can even learn things about each other that can make their bond stronger. However, they can accomplish the same things by doing more together, and at a lot less risk to their relationship. In the end, if your spouse is cheating, you have to decide whether you can ever regain the trust that made you marry him / her in the first place. A counselor can help you sort through your feelings. If your spouse isn't willing to go, do it by yourself. There is no reason for you to handle your spouse's betrayal of your marriage on your own.