Looking for a Serious Relationship? Take a Good Look at How you Feel

You know, I live in Provo, Utah where serious relationships and marriage are very important to the majority of the Utah Valley population. This of course--as you might have guessed--is due to my religious background which DOES NOT force marriage on young adults. However, sometimes it seems as though it does. Why? Because to members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints we know that marriage is a MAJOR part of not only our spiritual but our physical and emotional progression and happiness. Don’t get me wrong. I think everybody, regardless of their religious background, or lack of one, knows that serious relationships and marriage can inspire great progression and great happiness, but in our church, we TALK about having serious relationships and getting married and everybody knows that talk, because it is influenced by our thoughts, in turn influences our actions.

At any rate, the point of my “rambling” is that as I grow a little bit older each day, (and I hope wiser) I wonder what the “notification signal” will be when Mr. Serious Relationship comes into my life? I, like some other girls, don’t “fall in love” that easily. I simply don’t feel the motivation to pursue a relationship with many of the guys that ask me out. Does that sound cold? Possibly, but I’ve always been that way. I remember in first grade on the playground, some of the other girls would let the boys kiss them during kissing tag while I, though fond of “the running part,” tried to kick a boy once when he seemed a little too close for comfort! A little harsh I know, but really……for some darn reason I don’t want to deal with getting close to guys who are going to waste my “serious relationship” time. “Maybe I’m afraid or overly cautious?” you wager. Maybe so, but I’m a firm believer that our weaknesses, when taken with the right attitude, can help us see a clearly cut path to greater strength and perhaps better serious relationships……...so well……..maybe you should keep reading this article!

Today I had a EUREKA moment when I was reading an Ezine article1 that discusses “Ten Signs of a Serious Relationship.” Like most EUREKA moments, it was really a DUH moment when I realized that I should have caught on to this information about ten years ago. Better late than never……………….

Sure, it may seem juvenile to read an article about recognizing a serious relationship when it would seem that guys and girls with a little common sense would be able to identify whether their own relationship was genuinely a serious relationship or not. However, and in all reality, this is not always the case. We as citizens of the race of humanity have a great ability to run around without thinking very much. Because of this “ability” there are some of us that do read these types of obvious articles and thankfully once in a while one of these articles will speak some good common sense. In this particular Ezine article for instance, I noticed a connecting factor among almost all of the ten signs of “serious relationship recognition” and I realized that the common factor of a good serious relationship is selflessness. Now, I’m not sure what really inspires selflessness. Is it our love interests who inspire selflessness or is it simply their unique personalities that allow us to express our divine inner desire to be selfless? I don’t know, but regardless of what it is that inspires selflessness in a serious relationship, it is definitely something worth fighting for whether you have it now or whether you want it for the future.

In conclusion, I want to ask, “Isn’t expressing true selflessness falling in love?” Isn’t being in love when you feel like saying, “Yea! Life isn’t about me anymore. I can be a part of someone else and their life and I can get over myself. I can be free of selfishness, hate and other dumb, unintelligent feelings that I really don’t want to have.” Don’t we all want to feel motivated to get outside of ourselves? Don’t we want to find others who feel the same way? Am I telling a truth? You decide.