Need to Fix My Breakup? Here's How!

You may have just broken up with your significant other. Perhaps you were married, perhaps just dating or even living together. Now, everything reminds you of your ex. You think about him/her almost constantly, and you want him back. What to do? 

Here are a few things which might seem obvious, but to many people, they really are not. Do not nag or beg, or act nasty or complain. No one likes a whiner, or an immature person. If you act this way, it will just drive him away. You want the opposite. 

You want him to be comfortable and at ease with you, so that you can perhaps rebuild your relationship. If he feels ill at ease around you, he will not want to be in your company. Simple logic, not very pleasant, I know, but true nevertheless. 

Even though you may feel hurt at the moment, if you cannot be polite and civil around him, maybe you should not try to rekindle the flame. Or at the very least, take a break for a while. Sort things out in your head, and decide what you really want. 

Never try to fake happiness, or pretend to act in a certain way. It rarely works, and usually leads to problems later. If you think you need to pretend around him, maybe that is a sign you should find someone else who will let you be yourself. 

You no doubt had problems when you were together, and that led to your breakup. These issues may not seem so critical now. You may even wonder why you broke up at all, or why you let these issues get so out of hand. He may feel the same way, so talk about it. 

The past cannot be changed, but you can and should learn from it. Be determined not to make the same mistakes again. Maybe you took each other for granted. That is a very easy mistake to fall into. It is hard for us to admit to mistakes and character flaws. Such admissions are not necessary, so do not demand them. Instead, try to fix the problems together. 

You may be tempted to go out with someone new, just to make your ex feel jealous. This may actually work sometimes, but in general it is a bad idea. It is obviously very unfair to your date. As in all things, honesty is the best policy. Do not try to manipulate anyone, and you will have your best shot at patching up your relationship. 

On the other hand, if you have indeed gotten over your ex and are ready to move on, then by all means go ahead and date. Just be sure you are doing it for the right reasons. 

But what if your ex is the one who is dating again? This is a tough one. About all you can do in this case is be polite and cordial, and let him see how wonderful a person you really are. Do not demand more than that at this point, as he is focused on his new girlfriend, not you. 

He will appreciate how you were friendly and straightforward with him. Do not resort to deception or lies, even small ones. These are like land mines, that will blow up in your face later. If the new relationship peters out, you will be right there to reconnect with him. 

I personally know a couple who dated for a while, then split up. Each married someone else. Then, a few years later, they both divorced their spouses and married each other! Today they have four children together, and a great, loving relationship. So, never give up hope. True love will always endure, as the saying goes.