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Parenting With Love and Limits
Author: Chantel Seabrook  | Posted: 14-10-2006 | Comments: 0 | Views: 358 | Rating: (56)  (?) 
Kids aren't born with a set of moral guidelines built in. In fact, if you have ever spent time with a two year old you'll start to realize that the opposite seems to be true. If there is a button to press, a glass to spill, or a temper tantrum to have, it will be done.
It is our job as parents to teach our kids what is acceptable and what is not. There is a whole generation of parents out there that has forgotten, or was never taught, that children need limitations. Kids need to know what the boundaries are and what will happen if they cross them. Believe me, we aren't doing anything good for our kids by letting them rule the roost. Too many parents today confuse lack of restriction with love.
Love does have limits. While every child needs love, and this generation of parents, especially dads, have improved on physical acts of love, love without limits is perilous. Children do need some degree of freedom, but that freedom has to be age appropriate and never detract from our role as parent.
Kids need to experience making choices, but these choices need to be within the freedoms they are allowed. Our job as a parent is to help our kids make the right choices. When we give our children freedoms that are age appropriate we gradually instill a sense of self-confidence that functions simultaneously with respect for authority. When your kids respect your authority, it is the beginning of reciprocal love.
We too often think that the hugs and kisses we receive when we give into our five year old's demands are acts of love on the child's part. This type of manipulation, and little kids know all to well how to manipulate, only lead to greater acts of outbursts and eventually lack of respect for the parent's role.
As parents we all want our children to be happy, but giving into demands, even seemingly small ones, renders children to believe that they are in control. When a child acts out in temper tantrums and manipulation what he/she is asking is "can I get my own way?" The answer to the question should be "no." When manipulation is used in any form, kids need to hear a definitive "no." However, once the child has calmed down enough to listen it should also be explained why the answer was "no," and if appropriate what better way to go about the situation in the future.
"No" is a good word. It protects us from harmful situations. It can be a safety net for kids looking for boundaries. We love our children, and when we set appropriate limits, along with plenty of physical and verbal affection, we show our love. Limits are internalized and help kids feel safe. Set limits early, and both you and your child will thank you in the long run.
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Frequently Asked Questions
Statue of limitations
By: curious | 05-08-2008
if a person is charged with a crime and there is a warrant for arrest. does that mean the statue of limitations dosent apply to them anymore?
Y do people fall in love
By: quint-quint | 04-08-2008
why do people fall in love
Never enough
By: Diane | 04-08-2008
i make love to my boyfriend of 4 years at least 6 times a week and he still thinks its not enough. i feel im not satisfing him.one time out of 10 i might say no for some reason or aanother andit turns into a major fight. and because of this i am begining to resent sex and feel forced either do it or fight for 3 hours .any advice?
I am married,had a brief relationship with a ...
By: diane | 04-08-2008
I am married,had a brief relationship with a married man,totally against character,cant get him off my mind,what should i do.It started out just flirting,then long phone conversations.Then kissing.I was fine before all this started,now I am so depressed over it because although i know it was wrong,i miss him terribly.i never ever considered being unfaithful to anyone my entire life but this guy just got to me.
URGENT some one plz help me.:(
By: marianny | 03-08-2008
on my cell i owe 264.44 as far as i kner i have'nt payed it yet but i was going to but then i called the 1800 number and they said your account balance is of 1,895 imean i owed 264 i used it after but does account balance is what i owe then someone tell me i am crying becuase i dont know were i gonna get the money from. so tell me plz if thats what i owe them. what does account balance mean?
How do i get it back
By: unknowing wife | 03-08-2008
mhusband and i have been married for almost 13 years and we have 2 great kids but almost 1year ago i relized that having sex with my husband did not please him lide i used to i have tried new moves and he tells me he dont like them what do i do are we headed for bigger problems
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