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Reuniting With An Ex

Now, here's a different twist. Years ago you dated someone, but then you separated and drifted apart. Now you have suddenly come into contact once again. You're both single at the moment and decide that hooking up on Valentine's Day would be an excellent way to curb the Valentine blues for both of you.

Maybe this is no bad idea, but remember that whilst this may seem innocent enough, you should tread carefully. Years ago or less than one year ago, this person became your ex for a reason. Agreed, people change but that can work both ways, literally for better or worse.

He or she might not be the person you are expecting them to be. The time that the two of you have spent apart has given both of you room for new opportunities, growth, and different experiences. Perhaps you have even been moving and living in completely different environments from one another, so the one thing to actually expect is, simply, nothing.

You've somehow got in touch with each other and now you are going on a date. It is as simple as that. Don't put yourself through the agony of thinking and wondering whether your feelings and emotions might be exactly the way they used to be. Don't make statements like "But you used to love it when I did that." Look at this person with a new perspective.

This date will almost be like catching up with an old friend and may lead to nothing more than that. The less pressure you put on each other in this situation, the happier the two of you will be.

One other thing is certain though. You must be sure that both of you ARE single or you are playing with very dangerous fire, which can only lead to a very upset spouse or partner!

Even if there is an invitation to join your ex for dinner or drinks on Valentine's Day with their other half, do consider how you should actually deal with this. If there is no animosity or if you are all friends, then by all means go ahead. But if there is any inkling of "I don't really care for his or her new partner", then staying away is definitely a better idea.

If this is the first time you are meeting the other half, keep it polite. Don't accept the invitation with the sole intention of running the person down or to boast that you were definitely a better catch. Take it for what it is and move on. If this new person in your ex's life is really nowhere as good as you, then you'll have the satisfaction of sniggering about this in your own good time!

At all times, stay focused! Your aim is to just to get a date for Valentine's Day, not to get hitched and spend eternity together. Take into account the fact that while you are searching for someone with the intention of having a happier Valentine's Day, the other person may also be doing exactly the same thing. So, beyond Valentine's Day, accept that maybe the two of you are not going to be an item and that this is not going to be the beginning of walking down the aisle.

However, also give yourselves a chance and don't be too cynical. Give the person room enough to make an impression that may just take you both beyond Valentine's Day. Don't set out on the date telling yourself nothing will happen even before you have met the person. As mentioned earlier, there is a reason why you are single, but stop dwelling on it and give this new person a chance. Who knows, this might be your time to get a nice surprise and find that special someone.

Julie Francis
This article was taken from my eBook "Surviving Valentine's Day On Your Own.". Read more by clicking on the top link, includes 12 Things to do if alone on Valentines day. Or Visit... On Being Human There's more to it than you think!
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