Saving A Relationship Tips

Posted: Nov 21, 2009 | Comments: 0 | Views: 16 | Bookmark and Share

So you've been with your partner a few years now, and naturally overtime as with most couples that initial chemistry has worn away.

The excitement has wavered.

The love has diminished it seems.

You don't talk as much.

Everything in your relationship feels like a chore?

Your basically doomed to fail and separate like a snake from its skin. But congratulations! You have passed the first step which is....

You are looking for help saving a relationship! You do NOT want this to fail. WELL DONE!

But What Can You Do Next?...

We'll........ lots of things. You can seek professional help from a councillor which would help a great deal, or you can first try a few things by yourself to start working with.

A great start would be to write down what you think is wrong with your current relationship right now, try if you can to pin point a time when you believe it may have started.

If it started because of a certain situation write it down, or if it just happened overtime with no real circumstances then try and write down a time when you were last happy together.

What we are doing here is reverse engineering our current relationship situation without confronting a partner that may not be up to talking right now.

What Do You Do With Your List?..

What you want to do is read what you have written and also write down your feelings as you do, this will enable you to see what part of your previous list brings up the most heavy feelings.

It's these heavy feelings that you need to make a note of to deal with first.

The next part of this is to re-read that list, but this time your going to become an actor! The character you will be playing is guess who?...... Your partner!

Read it as if you are your partner, put yourself in their shoes and act just like they would if they are reading that very same piece of paper.

Write down what they would probably write if they had to add a few notes on your paper. Remember to be truthful and avoid any feelings of your own that may get in the way of this performance.

Now write down still in your partners shoes what would bring up the heaviest feelings if they had read your list.

What Will You Get Out Of This List?..

First of all writing your feelings down is like venting your frustrations, and the release after you have done this is awesome. Plus it saves you getting it all bottled up and then attacking your partner into another argument.

The next thing this method will do for you is allow you to understand your partners side too. Even though you are writing your most intimate feelings down which can be very hard. Because we then jump into out partners shoes right after, what we are doing is making it possible to still hear their side of the story too.

This is telling your stubborn side to still see another angle on your problems even though you may have just been deep inside your own opinions. Using this method overtime will allow you to do the same in the middle of "real" arguments, which usually means they don't last as long.

Because you noted your most heaviest feeling down on paper, as well as including what you think would be your partners strongest feeling produced from this list. You may have found the trigger actions or situations that set you both off.

Now you can avoid these situations boiling over because you are aware of what they are now, plus you now have a focus on what to work on when you are both getting along better. Maybe if the situation is right you can even talk about them, and because you are aware of your partners strongest feelings, you can now see both sides of the story.

Give it a try!

My wife and I use this method when we get into certain situations, but because we have used it many times before, it's so much easier now. Plus we are much more open to each others feelings more than we ever were before, so we hardly argue at all.

I hope these methods help you if you feel you need help in saving a relationship. You now have a solid foundation to build upon and grow together with.

(ArticlesBase SC #1487583)

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