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The Differences Between Marriage and Living Together

It is said that some marriages are a match made in heaven, and as a sequel people have added that they live in hell after marriage. What makes them say something like this? What is it that works with some people, but fails in others? Is there any magic potion to salvage the droopy relationships?

Of late, divorce has become a commonplace phenomenon. In the western world every effort is being made to save the institution from disintegrating. People spend years in search of their soul mate and when they finally find one they are then eager to discard them. If you look at the evolution of marriage as an institution you could find out that it came into being mainly for maintaining a social decorum.

Earlier it was polygamy, but now many of them lose faith in the institution. Living together has become a fad now even in eastern countries. What is the essential difference between living together and marriage? People who have successfully led a "living together" relationship without marrying say that they are bound to each other in a special way. They claim that there is no bickering as each of them are aware of their limitations and won't tread on each others path. There is mutual respect and freedom.

Ah! There comes the culprit. Marriage curtails your freedom. Marriage is commitment, sacrifice, love, responsibility and sharing. Who wants to commit when you can get whatever you want without sweating it out? When emotional as well as physical needs are met, why bother about unwanted tangles. In marriage, both have to keep their vows, share their earnings and understand each other. In living together it is the other way round and it is more easy going. You are free to lead a carefree life while enjoying the pleasures of togetherness. In marriage whether it is love before or love after, there is a dearth of understanding. We cannot demand it as they are two people coming from entirely different backgrounds.

More than that, men and women are entirely different species and they think and act differently. They are bound to each other by marriage. It takes years to get to know each other. While most men do not believe in showcasing their feelings, their better halves crave for it. Men on the other hand take everything they do as the outcome of their inherent love. This may not be communicated in a proper way and leads to all kinds of turmoil.

Women generally believe that they are discarded and unwanted in the larger spectrum of men's activities. A little bit of understanding can ease away the boiling volcanoes from erupting. This is general advice for all females. Believe that he loves you. This strong belief can bring about positive results. Accept him as he is and never try to correct him on the spot when he is angry. Put it for discussion when he is in a relaxed mood. Appreciate whenever he does something good for these bullies also crave affection and praises. Men on their part will be more considerate if you promise not to nag them unnecessarily. Taking into heart these two tips you can enjoy the conjugal bliss of happily ever after like a fairy tale.

Robert Kokoska
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