You've been going out with a great guy and spending time with him is always a treat. Many dates after, you begin to sense that it's the right time for the relationship to go to the next level. The problem is knowing how to start the conversation. Every time you try to open up, the reaction's always the same. He starts to fidget and you can sense he's uncomfortable. Before you know it, he drifts farther and farther away.
The more you worry about it the more he thinks that you're changing. He thinks that maybe you're not interested in him anymore because you seem to be distant and always thinking about something else. Then he holds back and when he does, you think that maybe he's not interested in you anymore. You start questioning him over the little things he does. His calls are not as frequent as before and he visits you less often. He thinks you're worried over nothing so he'll step away from the relationship thinking that that's the best solution.
To avoid that familiar scene, here's a few tips to help you avoid committing the usual relationship mistakes.
Mistake #1: Not knowing how his mind works. It's easy for women to assume that they're in an exclusive relationship after a few dates. He, on the other hand, thinks that he's just having a grand time with a wonderful woman.
You need to know how his mind works to clearly communicate with him what you expect in the relationship and how you want those expectations met. He doesn't want someone who is needy and clingy. A woman who can't survive on her own isn't someone he'd want to be with for a long time.
Mistake #2: Making the "big mistake." Thinking about your needs, but never about his own, is the big mistake. Although meeting our needs first is our basic nature, this won't work in a relationship. You have to take the limelight away from you momentarily and focus on what his needs are. Do this and you're sure to benefit from it in the future.
Learn to understand your boyfriend's dreams and desires; know what frustrates and discourages him. Patiently deal with his shortcomings and before you know it, you're on your way to enjoying the relationship that you've been wanting. But don't give him everything to the point that you'll be trampled on. Learn the delicate balance of giving.
Mistake #3: Talk, but also listen. It's very easy to commit the big mistake, so learn how not to. Men are generally not born conversationalists. Taking part in a conversation about relationships and serious emotions isn't their cup of tea. So it's up to you to know what works in keeping the lines of communication open.
The best solution to keep your man interested in a long term relationship with you is to know what their strengths are and knowing how to magnify those. Who wants to be always reminded of their failures, right? Make him feel that he's on top of your priority list and you'll be pleasantly surprised how he'll love you even more.
Find out why men withdraw - and what you can do about it. Aaron Adams specialises in relationship matters for women. Visit http://www.datingquestionsforwomen.com for more relationship advice.
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