Stephany Alexander is a relationship expert and CEO/Founder of WomanSavers.com - The World's Largest Database Rating Men. She holds a degree in Communications and is the author of the book "Sex, Lies and the Internet."
Unfaithful men seem to be everywhere nowadays. Your chances of becoming involved with an unfaithful man in this day and age are great. Yet, the age-old question of why men are unfaithful is difficult to answer. Infidelity touches all types of people, rich or poor. Hally Berry’s ex-husband, Eric Benet, was notorious for cheating on one of the most beautiful, successful women in Hollywood. Hugh Grant chose a street hooker for his sexual escapade even though he had the incredible looking actress Elizabeth Hurley for a girlfriend. Jude Law cheated on Sienna Miller. Jennifer Lopez supposedly requested Ben Affleck to sign a pre-nuptial agreement promising fidelity after an evening with strippers. Catherine Zeta-Jones had a section regarding Michael Douglas’s promised fidelity written into their pre-nuptial. Fidelity pre-nuptial agreements are becoming the norm for women with big bank accounts or those entering into relationships with famous or wealthy men.
According to a poll from WomanSavers.com, Will Smith and Jada Pinkett-Smith have the strongest Hollywood marriage. In another WomanSaver’s poll of over 133,000 women, 56% caught their man cheating red handed and another 36% suspected but didn’t have proof. This doesn’t say much for the current monogamy rates in our society.
Long-term monogamy is difficult for most men, even those that aren’t far away from their lady. However, it is not only men that cheat, but also women. Take for instance, Meg Ryan, who left her husband Russell Crowe for an affair. Statistics differ on who cheats more – men or women. Most statistics still say that men are more unfaithful but that may change in the future. However, if two people really love each other and want to be with each other, they'll have the strength to withstand temptation.
The lives of wealthy celebrities are quite different from the average persons. Looking at celebrities tells us very little about the average couple or as to the reasons why men are unfaithful because their lives are so different. A famous actor has women throwing themselves at him on a regular basis, whereas most average guys don’t. Even if a male celebrity restrains himself the majority of the time, there may be that one time when he gives in. While the average man may face the temptation to be unfaithful once in a while, it's not likely to happen as often.
Most husbands probably have the urge to cheat at one time or another. Those that choose not to respect their partner and their relationship too much to risk it. Many experts feel that an unfaithful man cheats because he is in an unhealthy relationship that already had existing problems. It would be interesting to know how many men who are in happy relationships are unfaithful.
However, what are the reasons as to why men are unfaithful? Sometimes it can be a simple reason, other times a complex combination of reasons. Are unfaithful men simply insatiable sexually? Is an unfaithful man really controlled by his “privates” and not his mind?
Various statistics claim that the more attractive a person is, the more likely they will be unfaithful because their opportunities to cheat increase. However, just because you marry an ugly guy doesn’t mean he won’t be unfaithful.
Reasons why men are unfaithful in a happy relationship may be because they are selfish or to pump their ego. Cheating is an extremely selfish act and men who cheat rarely think about their partner’s feelings when committing the act. Since a cheating man lacks respect for his lady, he is obviously much more likely to make moves on a sexy lady.
Are men’s genes really that out of control that they can’t remain faithful? Expert’s views are divided. Some experts state unfaithful men cheat because they are lonely or simply as an escape. Since men are taught not to show or communicate their feelings, stopping the cheating behavior becomes even more difficult. Sometimes having sex is the only way a cheating man can even achieve an emotional bond. Because of this, it isn’t surprising that when men cheat, many times their emotional needs are not met at all. Those cheating men that suffer from the guilt associated from the affair, may experience a mix of emotions ranging from lashing out in anger, depression or being overly nice. It’s a vicious cycle and one that is hard to break.
Then enter the pills such as Viagra and Cialis, and men do not have a proper chance to discover other forms of intimacy as they age. Many women look forward to their retirement years when their relationships will focus more on the communication aspect of their relationships but with the inventions of these pills, this is no longer possible.
A cheating man is more likely to stay in a relationship if there is a long relationship history of time, there are intertwined monies or if there are children. However, these reasons are not enough to stay in an unhappy relationship while lying to your partner and endangering their health by having unprotected sex. Our advice. Seek counseling and work on it or get out. Nuff said.
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