Accepting What your Mate Did Before They Found Christ

Everyone is on their own spiritual path. Some of us were blessed to be born into Christian homes and have lived our entire lives with the Lord but many other people didn’t come to Christ until they went through the darkness of the secular world. When someone who has always lived a Christian life is in a romantic relationship with someone who is born again there can be tension over what someone did in their past.

Part of it may be a culture shock. Many people in the non-Christian world experiment with drugs, sex, and alcohol without much thought to it. While you may have been brought up knowing from an early age that these things were wrong many others are taught that it is a normal part of growing up to try these things. Just because your partner has incidents in the past involving these types of immorality it doesn’t mean that they are a bad person, just that they made bad choices. Look at their behavior since they have come to Christ instead of who they were before. Never throw up to them their past acts in an argument or in an attempt to make yourself seem more righteous. Remember what Jesus said to the crowd attacking the fallen woman. You are not without sin and God doesn’t care if your sin seems smaller, it still is sin. When someone comes to Christ he fogives all their past acts. It is important that you follow that lead. Talk to your pastor or another trusted spiritual advisor about the issue because you can’t build a future together while you are trapped with thoughts about your partner’s past.

Another issue that often comes up in these relationships involves your partner’s family. While you come from a family that accepts and shares your spiritual believes that may not be true of your partner. Even though they have come to Christ it is likely that their families continues to live of the world. They even may be openly hostile to religion or look down upon you. But no matter what they do they are still family and deserve respect and honor. The best way to handle this tension is by acting as Christ-like as possible and keeping a calm and positive demeanor. You don’t need to lecture or chastise your partner’s family. That will only cause more problems. Let your spirit show them the love of Christianity. It is possible that their family may be engaging in behaviors that are clearly sinful such as premarital sex and homosexual relationships. Don’t feel like you must stifle your morals in order to be liked, but you also do not have to be openly hostile. Walk the middle path that Jesus did. Make it clear that you love these people but that you hate their choices. Remember that when you marry your partner you will also be marrying their family. If you truly can not deal with them then you have to consider if you should be continuing the relationship.

There are many benefits to building a relationship with someone who is born again. They have already lived the life of the flesh and rejected it so they are often less tempted by it then people who have never experienced it. As a partnership you have a well rounded experience of the world allowing you to fill in each others gaps in experiences. Born again Christians make great parents because they are able to talk honestly about their past mistakes and serve as an example of overcoming challenges. And learning to accept their past mistakes and forgiving them will help teach you how to become more Christ-like and loving in your own walk. Don’t avoid relationships with born again Christians just because you share different backgrounds. Where you two have been independently is less important than where you are going as a couple.