As an experienced life coach and Biblical counselor Michael Young has coached people to success in their business and relationships. Do you want to see what Christian life is Christian living means? Click here Christian Life Coaching Life Coaching - Complimentary Session Click here Life Coaching Session
I'm sorry, rolls off the tongue so easily. One can say it without even working at it. Often it is done to get the conversation over with. Sometimes, it is a way to make a half-hearted effort toward restoration. I apologize is never mentioned in the Scriptures. In fact, it should be avoided because it hidesa real and genuine dialogue.
We have been brainwashed with the words, "I'm sorry." There are a couple of things wrong with rendering an apology.
1. It is a humanistic, inadequate imitation for the real thing. It is man's substitute for God's provision. 2. It makes the situation worse from an inadequate response.
Let's examine it further, God's stipulation for alienated relationship is forgiveness. If the Christian can say the words, "I'm sorry" (or words to that effect) instead of "I sinned, please forgive me" they are able to underplay the action. They have not completely confessed before the Lord and to the injured party. The profound healing and authentic solutions that could have occurred through forgiveness has been subverted. An apology is nothing more than an verbalization of your own feelings. To tell the other person what you did that was a sin and ask to be forgiven is quite another matter.
The other side of the coin is that the one injured or hurt will have the natural response of "Oh, that's ok." Again because we are habituatedto expect that as the proper (read: Christian) thing to do. But when someone says, "Will you forgive me?" A whole new kind of interpersonal relationship is required. There has been a change in responsibility. Both individuals are now supposed to put the sin behind them.
This practice of confession and forgiveness is an transaction that has requirements for both individuals. The confessor is agreeing to his sin and saying what the wrongs entailed. This includes repenting (a heart condition) and confession (an outward action). He is also requesting for grace and mercy (forgiveness) from the one whom he has offended. But, an apology comes from sorrow often about the consequences of the sin, not what it does to the injured party. To tell the other person that you have offended them and God, shows that you are take it very seriously.
Forgiveness imputes with it a pardon for the sin. A comment like, "Awww, it's ok" or "Hey, don't worry about it" minimizes the sin. A fitting biblical response would be "Yes, I understand and I forgive you." That kind of forgiveness gives the promise that the subject won't be brought up again. It won't be discussed with others, and it won't be allowed to dwell in the forgivers mind. Forgiveness asks for a guarantee and receives one. Forgiveness leads to forgetting the offense. It is a promise toward a new and deeper relationship. An apology can't compare to the Biblical model for rebuilding a relationship.
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