God Made Me Love

I walked into the Metropolitan church not knowing what to expect. For years I had lived isolated from people. I was afraid to reach out and be known as one of them.

Twenty years earlier my family, friends, and church deserted me. They made me feel like an outcast. As if a huge brand was burnt into my forehead declaring to the whole world that I was a sinner.

I wasn't prepared for how different my world was going to become when I started to really love for the first time. A love that made my heart jump a beat in excitement. A love that took my breath away.

The love I felt was so strong that I ran not caring what others would think. And the message from God was so clear that I threw all of my doubts away and ran towards the feelings that were inspiring me to love.

A new thing began to happen in my life. A typed message from God declared a truth that I would have never learned if I had stayed in the life that I had before. A note resounding and filling my thoughts with ideas. New ideas I had never known before.

Isaiah 55:8&9, "'My thoughts,' says the Lord, 'are not like yours, and my ways are different from yours. As high as the heavens are above the earth, so high are my ways and thoughts above yours.'"

Scriptures filled the paper. Words I did not type. Ideas I had never understood before. It was as if the clouds parted and the light of the sun shone through. A bright light of wisdom.

As I studied the scriptures and prayed for help God continued to help me understand why I would need Him more than I ever needed Him before. I was about to learn a truth that would dramatically change my way of thinking.

God spent the next twenty years teaching me in the University of the World. A life school. With a Degree in understanding the purpose of my life. A quest that would make me stand against all those who believed I was evil.

"My Ways Are Not Human Ways, Trust In Me, Pray for protection from Satan, God has Spoken! I love you Linda".

I took my scissors and cut out these words and placed them in my Bible. I would look at them from time to time when it was no longer necessary for God to speak to me through the typed page.

I gained strength through knowing that all of the pain and suffering I was going through had a purpose. It was meant to change me into a new kind of person.

Loving Tori cost me everything. Custody of my children, the respect and love of my parents, and the admiration of my church.

I was a very religious person. Raised as a Baptist and trained in the doctrine of a very homophobic church. To be gay was to disobey God. It was in the Bible.

To be gay is to be branded a life long sinner who was going to hell! A hell that would burn me for eternity. An eternity of punishment for practicing an evil sexual sin.

Another message appeared instructing me to know that I was loved by God. A message that took away my confusion and placed me on solid ground that would lead me to the knowledge I needed to justify my change.

God taught me and changed my way of thinking by making me love. He changed me through my emotions so I would do His will separate from the knowledge I had learned through the church.

God changed my way of thinking through love. God is Love! To love is to do His Will.

I don't think most people understand the complexity of this world game. They don't understand that our paths are predetermined before we ever begin to play.
Paths that lead us to truths that are clouded by how this world thinks compared to how God thinks. God uses every part of our human make up to change us into new people.

People who are changed by how they feel to how they believe. There must be differences in order for the love of God to prevail. Our differences lead us down paths of revelation.

To be in a teaching world we must learn truths when the veil of darkness is parted and gives way to the dawn of a new understanding. Jesus explains this light when He tells his disciples why He speaks to people in parables.

Matthew 13:10-13, "Then the disciples came to Jesus and asked him, 'Why do you use parables when you talk to the people?'
Jesus answered, 'The knowledge about the secrets of the Kingdom of heaven has been given to you, but not to them. For the person who has something will be given more, so that he will have more than enough; but the person who has nothing will have taken away from him even the little he has. The reason I use parables in talking to them is that they look, but do not see, and they listen, but do not hear or understand.'"

Jesus goes on to tell His disciplines how fortunate they are because their eyes can see. He then explains to them the parables so they will understand the truth about this world.

God uses people, our emotions and different cultures to teach us His truths in a wicked and adulterous world. Adultery represents a person who separates themselves from God.

Matthew 13:37&38, "Jesus answered, 'The man who sowed the good seed is the Son of Man; the field is the world; the good seed is the people who belong to the Kingdom; the weeds are the people who belong to the Evil One; '"

The people of this world give themselves to it and refuse to acknowledge God. So when the tests of life happen they blame God and do whatever they feel regardless of who it hurts.

To be in the University of the World we must understand that we will come up against opposition. Satan opposes love and he uses churches, people, and anyone who will stand on his side and hate the love of God.
John 15:18-20,"If the world hates you, just remember that it has hated me first. If you belonged to the world, then the world would love you as its own. But I chose you from this world, and you do not belong to it; that is why the world hates you. Remember what I told you: 'No slave is greater than his master.' If they persecuted me, they will persecute you too; if they obeyed my teaching, they will obey yours too."

Entering into the church I saw people full of love. Yes, they were rejected by their families. Yes, they were persecuted by society and men for being homosexual. But as far as God was concerned they had thrones awaiting them in Heaven.

All those who are poor, persecuted, and mistreated will sit on thrones and those who harmed them during their lifetime will come and fall on their knees proclaiming that God loved them. This is their reward along with an eternity of good for passing the test in the University of the World.