Satire: Loose cannon in South Africa

Satire:

Julicious, JUJU, Antivirus software required

The loose cannon of South African politics

I have a computer called RSA (Roly’s Special Appliance) on my desk that I sit at every day. I do some work on it using only the programmes that I understand, leaving the others alone to lie in memory till someone more knowledgeable than me calls them to ROM (Random old age memory) or RAM (Random adolescent memory).

Now amongst these programmes and files that have been downloaded or uploaded, I’m not sure of the difference, lie deadly dangerous viruses that can destroy your memory, corrupt your files and poison your friends computers as well. You see we all require antivirus programmes to be lodged in the computers memory to cut out and destroy these viruses before they corrupt all of our good information.

Some of these viruses, like the Juju virus, have been known to corrupt the memories of newly upgraded computers that have not been equipped with antivirus software. They are corrupted in their home environments when family members download games or corrupt files and viruses or they remain corruption free until they enter higher learning institutions where the Julicious worm or the Juju and Robert Mugbee viruses are more prevalent. After entering the memories of these young computers these viruses continue to grow and morph while causing untold damage to the memory. The truth is distorted and twisted to the extent that when the file is read we fail to see that the information in the file has been prettied up to make for interesting reading even though it’s been poisoned by the virus.

In the past the Hitler, Stalin and Mao Tse-tung viruses caused millions of computers to crash and huge portions of memory were destroyed. Whole gigs of memory were gassed by the Hitler virus while the Stalin and Mao Tse-tung viruses led entire hard drives into the virus vault. Now in present times we have more deadly viruses like the Robert Mugbee, Julicious Mamparra and Blade worms and viruses, to name but a few, destroying our young computers, pre antivirus installation.

It astounds and concerns me to see how unprotected and easily corruptible some of the young computers of South Africa really are.

The hard drives, USB devices and external hard drives of these pre antivirus computers are being corrupted by the confused, contradictory and inflammatory rhetoric of one delusional young virus in particular and many more in general. One wonders if the Juju virus and others lie in wait dreaming up and conceiving new ways and means that will embarrass their viral elders and cause untold harm to the young computers they infest.

I for one, am worried that we have our own little Robert Mugbee wannabe virus developing right under our noses and we are all just sitting back watching this phenomenon grow, while we laugh, poke fun at and shake our heads at this abrasive young upstart. I really hope that our mirth does not come back to bite us all in the bum, by taking over the memories of our younger computers.

We must install antivirus software on these young computers so that their files and programmes can remain virus free until they gain sufficient clean information to recognise a virus or worm in sheep’s clothing.

The Julicious Mamparra worm and Robert Mugbee virus are dangerous and antiviral software should be used to dilute or remove the threat before it is too late. Remember that some computers will become so corrupt that even formatting and reloading will not solve the problem and many of these unfortunates will find themselves confined to the virus vault forever.

Wheelyboy 02-10-09

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