An Overview of Grief and Loss

A Overview of Grief and Loss
by Maurice Turmel PhD

Grief and loss are typically associated with death and dying, usually involving the loss of a loved one. But the category can also encompass loss of job, home or relationship as additional dimensions of experience. Grief resources and recovery programs are subsumed under this umbrella and are usually designed to help us with all aspects of loss.

The predominant category is loss of a loved one, of course. Death is the first thing that comes to mind when grief and loss are being discussed. But this particular experience can also emerge when we breakup with a lover, lose a pet or get fired from our employment. When the grief experience strikes, recovery is what preoccupies us the most.

Divorce, relationship breakup and death of a pet will generate powerful grief reactions. Losing one's home, employment and place of business are equally powerful in their grief and loss effects. We typically do not associate such losses with the grief and loss experience. It turns out that they do affect us in similar ways to the primary experience of losing a loved one.

The main point of this article is that dealing with grief and loss has a lot of common dimensions over all of its related categories.  We mourn the loss of a loved one. We grieve the loss of a pet.  We agonize over a broken relationship. We become depressed at the loss of our job.

What is our point here with this foray into the multiple dimensions of grief and loss? We are dealing with an emotional crisis and a feeling based wound. We experience sadness, depression and hurt. Feeling lost and afraid is common.  Anger usually arrives first, till we discover what's underneath, and pain is what we wish to avoid, initially. All such reactions are quite typical with the experience of grief and loss.

We begin to see that the experience of grief and loss applies to every aspect of our lives.  Learning to grieve and relieve ourselves of stress is the key to a healthy recovery. Grief work and stress relief provide the necessary bounce back for our energy and drive. Grieving, in all its varied forms, is far more common than we may have realized.

The cycle of life includes gaining, losing and gaining again. For example, when a snake crawls into the tall grass to shed its old skin, it's because the new is emerging from underneath and pressing for release. Losses are typically categorized as devastating when, in fact, they are often a prelude to something better. Learning to let go, no matter what the cicumstances is a valuable life lesson.

Our biggest loss is always the death of a loved one. On a well known stress scale, this type of loss is just ahead of divorce and moving, two more examples of grief and loss. Learning to manage our daily losses, big and small, can well equip us for dealing with the big one when it inevitably strikes. A good grief resource becomes our most valuable guide during such circumstances and will lead us toward a healthy recovery.

Recovery from grief and loss, in all its varied forms, requires that we deal with our emotions. When we are emotionally vulnerable we can find a deeper meaning to life and acquire new and lasting friendships where we initially saw hurt and sorrow. Every loss carries a benefit, even if it takes years to uncover. Letting go emerges as grief and loss' primary lesson.