Let's talk about anger management. If you feel that anger deep down in you, how do you deal with it? A lot of times you may sit and think about it. What I do to deal with my anger is to sit and think of ways on how to resolve it.
If we are angry at other people, we tend to lash at them right there and then, but when we are angry at people close to our hearts we usually keep silent while thinking how to deal with the situation. If you are angry at your husband, what do you do? You may talk endlessly without even thinking about the words that come out of your mouth.
If you are used to doing that, you may probably realize by now that it didn't do you any good. No conflict was resolved and it probably made matters worse. If you talk a lot when you're angry, you tend to say things that you don't really mean, and you end up hurting him more. Communication experts suggest that in situations like this you communicate using the "I feel" sentences and not the "you did" sentences.
"I feel so angry" is an example of "I feel" sentences, and on the other hand an example of a "you did" sentence is "You make me angry." See the difference?
So what do you then? Do you do nothing and keep it to yourself? You could find a way to deal with your anger through the following thoughts:
1. Being angry is just a feeling.
You usually get angry when you feel pain. So treat anger as an emotion that you feel to help you deal with your pain. In essence, anger an emotion that helps you feel better because you have an avenue to express your feeling.
2. Your anger is yours and it does not belong to someone else, especially to the one that you are angry with.
Let's say that you're angry at your husband. You may think that you are angry with him, but the issue could be just because of a memory of your past relationships with men or even with your parents.
But if you are really angry because of how your husband treated you and you got hurt, then don't tolerate it. Deal with it by:
3. Not just venting out your feelings but by sharing it.
You want to feel better, right? That's why you need to sharing your feelings. Doing so would make you feel closer with your husband. You're respecting him enough by telling him about how you feel instead of attacking him. It's okay to let him understand the gravity of your pain, but don't do it like you would a confrontation.
These may be little ideas that are really simple. But it's the simple things that grow. Rid yourself of those negative emotions and you create for yourself more space for love and healing.
Find out what your feelings are telling him. Aaron Adams specialises in relationship matters for women. Visit http://www.datingquestionsforwomen.com for more relationship advice.
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