How to defend yourself against the emotional harm caused by verbal aggression

How to defend yourself against the emotional harm caused by verbal aggression.

by Dennis Fisher.

Verbal aggression can be just as harmful as a physical attack.  The harm is emotional but the damage can be just as severe. 

Countless books on martial arts have been written, describing a variety of very effective ways to defend yourself against physical attacks.  But for the person subjected regularly to a verbal onslaught of rude – and even crude - insulting, offensive remark, very little advice is available.

Although verbal aggression leaves no physical scars, there is no doubt that the mental and emotional damage can be just as damaging.  Malicious remarks  made  barely above a whisper can cause a great deal of emotional harm.

No matter what form the verbal aggression takes, there is generally a common purpose – to make the victim feel small and inferior.

The verbal aggression frequently continues over a lengthy period.  Very often victims are unable to defend themselves because they are in some way dependant – perhaps financially - on the person making the insulting remarks.

There are many instances where bullying supervisors or managers continually subject employees to continual harsh and unwarranted criticism.  The employees feel powerless to do anything about the situation for fear of losing their jobs.

This verbal aggression can take place anywhere.  It is just as common in the Board room at meetings of Directors as it is on the factory floor.  It also occurs frequently in homes.

Here again the intention is always the same. It is  a mean and vindictive desire to inflict  emotional pain.

When a child is subjected to continual teasing by someone physically bigger, stronger or older and feels powerless to deal with the emotional bullying, the usual advice given by a parent is to quote the idiom.  “Sticks and stones can break your bones, but words will never hurt you”.

 But words can definitely hurt. Very often the emotional pain is far more severe than the physical pain

The sad part about this situation is that the pain you suffer from verbal aggression is entirely unnecessary.  There is a simple technique you  can use that makes any words, insults, or disparaging comments completely harmless.

It is a technique I trained myself to use a long time ago and it is 100% effective.

This technique of completely ignoring comments you don’t want to hear – in effect assuming a state of “convenient deafness” - is not as difficult to learn as you might think.

Let me give you details of this  technique I learnt many years ago. It has stood me very good stead over the years.

I always found it remarkably effective, not only in diffusing situations that could easily have become nasty, had I responded to outbursts of uncontrolled bad temper, but also in enabling me to deal with potentially difficult situations without being in any way stressed or upset.

Whenever I was faced with a situation that involved a confrontation with someone who lost control,started shouting at me and began to make  insulting remarks, this is what I trained myself to do.

As soon as the aggressive person approached me and started hurling insults at me,I would look at them with a slightly amused, puzzled smile.  I would  remain completely silent,  not saying a word. I behaved as if I didn't have any idea at all what the strange sounds coming from their mouths were supposed to mean.

The sounds were completely meaningless and unintelligible.

Then I would  lift my hand.  Slowly and deliberately I would pull my ear.

This action gave me the power to switch off completely and not listen to a word that was said to me. It became a meaningless, babble of unintelligible sound.

Then I would start reciting to myself - silently - a little verse I had made up especially for occasions like this.

This is the verse I kept saying to myself, over and over gain as the verbal aggression continued.

                                "Funny noises from your mouth
                                  I switch off and ignore
                                  And focus my attention
                                  On  the movements of your jaw!"

I would concentrate on looking at the person's mouth and the movements of the jaw as if I was competely fascinated.

These actions on my part, and the little verse I kept repeating, made it easy for me to have "convenient deafness".   After a while it was  quite obvious  I wasn't listening to  a word directed at me.

The shouting suddenly stopped and the peson stormed off in frustrated rage.

I wasn't in any way stressed by the experience. It had no harmful effect whatseover.

Try this simple, but every effective technique.  I guarantee it will work as well for you  as it  has always worked for me. You can "switch off" without any effort at all.  This gives you a tremendous sense opf power.

There are many ways you can control difficult situations and many different techniques you can use.  Visit the following website where you'll find the subject of mind control and self-discipline is dealt with in great detail: http://www.creativemindpowers.com

How to defend yourself against the damage and harmful effects of verbal Aggression

Verbal aggression can be just as harmful as a physical attack, but there’s  a simple way to defend yourself.

Countless books on martial arts have been written, describing a variety of very effective ways to defend yourself against physical attacks.  But for the person subjected regularly to a verbal onslaught of rude – and even crude - insulting, offensive remark, very little advice is available.

Although verbal aggression leaves no physical scars, there is no doubt that the mental and emotional damage can be just as damaging.

1. Malicious remarks can be made  barely above a whisper.

No matter what form the verbal aggression takes, there is generally a common purpose – to make the victim feel small and inferior.

The verbal aggression frequently continues over a lengthy period.  This may be due to a number of reasons. Very often victims are unable to defend themselves because they are in some way dependant – perhaps financially - on the person making the insulting remarks.

There are many instances where bullying supervisors or managers continually subject employees to continual harsh and unwarranted criticism.  The employees feel powerless to do anything about the situation for fear of losing their jobs.

This verbal aggression can take place anywhere.  It is just as common in the Board room at meetings of Directors as it is on the factory floor.

1. Here again the intention is usually a mean and vindictive desire to inflict pain- in this case emotional pain.

1. They have not learnt how to use effective  techniques.

When a child is subjected to continual teasing by someone physically bigger, stronger or older and feels powerless to deal with the emotional bullying, the usual advice given by a parent is to quote the idiom.  “Sticks and stones can break your bones, but words will never hurt you”.

But, as everyone knows, words can definitely hurt. Very often the emotional pain is far more severe than the physical pain – which is often only temporary.

1. It also involves an ability to completely ignore the irritating, annoying, insulting, or offensive comments that are being made.

This technique of completely ignoring comments you don’t want to hear – in effect assuming a state of “convenient deafness” - is not as difficult to learn as you might think.

Let me give you details of a technique I learnt many years ago. It has stood me very good stead over the years.

I always found it remarkably effective, not only in diffusing situations that could easily have become nasty, had I responded to outbursts of uncontrolled bad temper, but also in enabling me to deal with potentially difficult situations without being in any way stressed or upset.

Whenever I was faced with a situation that involved a confrontation with someone who lost control started shouting at me and began to make  insulting remarks, this is what I trained myself to do.

Then I would slowly lift my hand and touch my ear.

Then, with the slightly amused, fixed smile, I would repeat the following little verse silently to myself as the person ranted and raved.  I would make no sound at all, but concentrate on the following words as I said them over and over again to myself.

                      “Funny noises from your mouth

                        I switch off and ignore

                        And focus my attention

                        On the movements of your jaw!”

Looking at actual movements of the jaw muscles with intense focus and concentration made it easy for me to “switch off completely”

1. It was just a babble of incoherent noise.

After a while it was quite obvious I wasn’t listening to anything that was being said; nor was it affecting me in any way.

The shouting stopped and the person would storm away in frustration.

I was not stressed, upset or disturbed in any way by the outburst.

Try this simple but every effective technique whenever you are faced with any form of verbal aggression.

1. The more you use it, the more proficient you’ll become. You’ll find it as useful as I have.

There are many ways to deal with difficult situations.  Most of them involve self-control and self-discipline. On following website you’ll find details of many other ways, not only to cope, but to control situations: http://www.creativemindpowers.com