 |
Love Addiction, Approval Addiction
Author: Margaret Paul, Ph.d.  | Posted: 12-01-2007 | Comments: 0 | Views: 207 | Rating: (53)  (?) 
In my experience as a counselor for 40 years, I have found that love addiction and approval addiction are far more prevalent than any other substance or process addictions. We live in a love-addicted, approval-addicted society.
What does it mean to be love/approval addicted? Below is a checklist for you to see if you are addicted to love and/or approval. Believing any of these may indicate love or approval addiction.
I believe that:
* My happiness and wellbeing are depended upon getting love from another person.
* My adequacy, lovability, and feelings of self-worth and self-esteem come from others liking me and approving of me.
* Others disapproval or rejection mean that I'm not good enough.
* I can't make myself happy.
* I can't make myself as happy as someone else can.
* My best feelings come from outside myself, from how other people or a particular other person sees me and treats me.
* Others are responsible for my feelings. Therefore, if someone cares about me, he or she will never do anything that hurts or upsets me.
* I can't be alone. I feel like I'll die if I'm alone.
* When I'm hurt or upset, it's someone else's fault.
* It's up to other people to make me feel good about myself by approving of me.
* I'm not responsible for my feelings. Other people make me feel happy, sad, angry, frustrated, shut down, or depressed. When I'm angry, someone makes me feel that way and is responsible for fixing my feelings.
* I'm not responsible for my behavior. Other people make me yell, act crazy, get sick, laugh, cry, get violent, leave, or fail.
* Others are selfish if they do what they want instead of what I want or need.
* If I'm not connected to someone, I will die.
* I can't handle my pain, especially the pain of disapproval, rejection, abandonment, the pain of being shut out - the pain of isolation and loneliness.
Living as a love or approval addict is a very hard way to live. You have to constantly make sure you say the right thing, do the right, and look right in order to get the needed love and approval. Your feelings are on a roller coaster - from feeling the wonderful feelings that come from getting your love or approval "fix" to feeling the despair that comes when your "supply" - the source of your love and approval - shuts down, gets angry or judgmental, or goes away.
THE UNDERLYING CAUSE OF LOVE AND APPROVAL ADDICTION
Love and approval addiction is rooted in self-abandonment. Imagine the feeling part of you as a child - your inner child. When you are love or approval addicted, you have handed your inner child away for adoption. Instead of learning to take responsibility for your own happiness by loving and approving of yourself, you have handed your inner child away to others for love and approval - making others responsible for your feelings. This inner self-abandonment will always cause the deep pain of low self-worth, making you dependent upon others for your sense of worth.
The sad thing about all of this is that love is the most abundant thing in the universe. We live in a sea of love - it is always within us and all around us. It is our Source. When you learn to open to Spirit/God/Source, you become filled with love, with peace, with joy. The empty place within that yearns to be filled becomes so filled with love that it overflows to others. You find yourself desiring to give love rather than always trying to get it.
As long as you make others your Source, you will not find the love, peace and joy that you seek. By learning and practicing the Inner Bonding process that we teach, you can learn to fill yourself with love and heal your love and approval addictions.Are you love or approval addicted? Most people are. The following checklist will help you to determine your level of love or approval addiction.
Rate this Article:
Current: 0 / 5 stars - 0 vote(s).
Article Source: http://www.articlesbase.com/self-help-articles/love-addiction-approval-addiction-91413.html
|
Submitting articles has become one of the most popular means of generating quality backlinks and targeted traffic to your website. Join us today - It's Free! |
|
Related Articles
Is God Your Friend?
By: Margaret Paul, Ph.d. | 05/01/2007 | Religion
What are your concepts of God that you learned as a child?
Many people absorbed a concept of God as a powerful old man with a white beard who sits on a throne and judges you. Even if you didn't grow up with this concept of God, the chances are at...
Rising Above Mediocrity Today
By: Patric Chan | 10/12/2007 | Self Improvement
Sometimes going the extra mile can make all the difference between being just plain average and excelling.
Healing Discomfort
By: Joe Hurley | 19/04/2007 | Wellness
Healing Discomfort is a new article by Joe Hurley designed to help you to understand discomfort while you awaken to the divine wisdom and love you have inside to heal your symptom/issue and come into a new state of well being.
What Creates Self-Esteem?
By: Margaret Paul, Ph.d. | 07/02/2006 | Self Help
We all want to feel good about ourselves but many of us go about this in the ways that will never create self-esteem.
Intuition: Mastering your Inner Self
By: Dr. James P. Urban | 14/03/2007 | Self Help
Mastering our inner self - or our Intuition - is a conversation discussed here by Dr. James P. Urban. He takes a look at relaxation and listening to our inner self.
Are You Love Addicted?
By: Margaret Paul, Ph.d. | 03/05/2007 | Self Help
Imagine that you have a little child - a son or daughter, but that you are only 15 years old. How are you going to feel about this child? There is a good possibility that you will feel that this child is a burden, limiting your freedom. You will...
The Kabbalah of Speech
By: Shifra Hendrie | 06/08/2007 | Self Help
The words you use, to yourself and others, can make a tremendous difference in both your experience of life and results you generate. Kabbalah explains that G-d creates physical reality with words, and so do we.
5 Simple Steps To Manifest More Money With The Law Of Attraction
By: Enigma Valdez | 28/11/2007 | Self Help
Almost everyone I know wants to know how they can increase their cash flow. Perhaps you have questioned why some people seem to always have money while others struggle just to make ends meet.
I think it is safe to say that most of the world uses and needs money to...
Latest Self Help Articles
The Ultimate 4 Steps to Achieve Anything You Want
By: Shawn Lim | 08/09/2008
No matter who you are and where you live today, I believe that there must be something that you want to achieve in your life. Maybe you want to be rich, maybe you want to be a millionaire, maybe you want to lose 10 pounds, maybe you want to have a pretty girlfriend, etc. If you truly think about it, there must be something that you want to achieve in your life.
The Power of Afformations
By: Helen Garvey | 06/09/2008
Afformations are positive questions we ask ourselves. I'm sure we've all heard of affirmations, afformations go that one step further to give us the life we desire.
The Art of Self-healing, Using Nlp
By: Reza Hossein Borr | 05/09/2008
Since you have the choice of controlling and managing different ingredients that cause health improvement, you become responsible for managing your body and your mind in a way that you boost your immune system and increase your health. So your health begins by understanding the way you think and if in any case, you fell ill, you need to know different strategies, techniques and principles for recovering your health.
Go for African American Speakers
By: Kassia Macy | 05/09/2008
The results of a survey on the most popular phobias concluded that most of the people are not that afraid of death or of accidents, but they are afraid of speaking in front an audience. Besides, the survey’s statistics say that African American speakers are the best in this area. Black speakers are not afraid to express their opinions in public. They are always fit and when they enter a room, everybody can feel their energy.
Pick the Right Colour Clothes for You
By: Chris Scarles | 05/09/2008
Colour has an impact on everyone. Being aware of this is an important consideration and can affect the people you are meeting. So make sure you pick the right coloured clothes for the occasion.
Socail Life
By: Ahoud Dawood Al-Siyabi | 05/09/2008
Who are you? Why are you in this world? What are your believes about life? Over these thousands and millions of years answering these questions has meant going within the infinity well of love, infinity well of joy and infinity well of peace, which are treasures that each human being occurs to have.........................
Beat Your Travel Alarm Clocks to the Draw!
By: Bradlley Mckoy | 04/09/2008
You have many of those infernal inventions man created to absolutely wreak havoc on your age-old biological patterns and decades-old psychological stability. And no, this is not the institution of marriage. These are travel alarm clocks - the types that scream like hellish banshees, explode like nuclear bombs, and buzz...
Anger Can Have Positive Results
By: David Earle | 04/09/2008
Use anger correctly and positive results can happen! This statement is very shocking, for it is in direct contradiction with experience. Most people have witnessed the sharp and cutting blade of anger as it slashes and cuts its victims and have experienced the unresolved anger that creates emotional distance be-tween themselves and their loved ones. It is natural to experience anger, but how can it achieve positive results?
More from Margaret Paul, Ph.d.
How Can I Stop Feeling Jealous?
By: Margaret Paul, Ph.d. | 04/09/2008 | Relationships
"I know that my boyfriend loves me, but he has a lot of women friends. I don't get why he has to have so many women friends. I get scared and jealous when he spends time with another woman. I know I should trust him, but I don't, and I...
Emotional Intimacy
By: Margaret Paul, Ph.d. | 21/08/2008 | Relationships
Experiencing emotional intimacy with others is one of the most satisfying experiences of life. Emotional intimacy, or a sense of deep connection with another person or a group of people, occurs when each person is completely open hearted and devoted to taking 100% responsibility for their own feelings and needs....
Gratitude vs. Complaining
By: Margaret Paul, Ph.d. | 14/08/2008 | Self Help
"All happy people are grateful. Ungrateful people cannot be happy. We tend to think that being unhappy leads people to complain, but it is truer to say that complaining leads to people becoming unhappy." - Dennis Prager
Take a moment to think about this statement. Have you ever known a happy...
The Wanting Mind, Part 1
By: Margaret Paul, Ph.d. | 07/08/2008 | Self Help
"This force [that keeps us always wanting] is known in several Buddhist traditions as the Wanting Mind. The Wanting Mind is always craving an experience different from the one it currently has." --Brent Kessel, It's Not About the Money
There is nothing wrong with wanting - wanting more time, more money,...
Is Your Relationship Suffering From Emotional Infidelity?
By: Margaret Paul, Ph.d. | 31/07/2008 | Relationships
Emotional infidelity occurs when you or your partner become emotionally connected with someone outside your relationship, either in person or on the Internet.
How dangerous to a marriage or committed relationship is emotional infidelity?
One way of looking at emotional infidelity is that it is very dangerous, because it not only takes...
7 Step
By: Margaret Paul, Ph.d. | 17/07/2008 | Religion
Are you one of those people who secretly wish you believed in God? Or are you one of those people who believe in God in an abstract way rather than a personal way? Are you actually doing everything you can to never have an experience of God, while denying that...
Problems Sleeping?
By: Margaret Paul, Ph.d. | 12/07/2008 | Self Help
Insomnia is quite common in our society. While there many different reasons for sleep problems - such as poor diet, too much sugar and refined carbohydrates, too much caffeine, or lack of exercise - I want to share two major causes and the solutions to these.
Ironically, one of the major...
Diffusing Anger or Feeding the Flames
By: Margaret Paul, Ph.d. | 08/07/2008 | Self Help
Have you ever had an argument with someone - a partner, spouse, close friend, child, parent or other relative, or a business associate - that started small and spiraled into an intense conflict? Have you ever scratched your head, wondering how it got so out of control?
Let's take a look...
|
|
Self Improvement 
