Self Help: Get Past Aggression

Sometimes it is hard to get away from anger and hostility. After all, not everyone is as evolved as we are. We strive to do the right thing, to walk the right path but we are still men with egos. How are we to deal with these people who throw their negativity and insecurities our way?

We are human beings, and we have feelings, and yes, egos. When aggressive, angry people confront us, it is sometimes hard to keep that ego in check. Dealing with someone who is acting out of fear and insecurity can also be very tough. How do we gently deal with an abusive aggressor and still hold true to our beliefs and spirituality?

Trust in your higher self
You and I know who we are, we know what we are capable of absorbing and giving. You must rise above the situation and to do this you must keep your ego in check. Remember, the ego will either fight or fly. We must settle into our higher selves and act out of positive emotion. When we think and act out of love, we will always pick the correct actions.

Put a side the anger and try to understand
We sometimes can understand the motives behind peoples actions if we give thought to their situation. Remember there is no right or wrong, there is only different points of view and opinion. So seek to see the other side of the disagreement. If you know the abuse towards you is unwarranted, and you cannot see the truth or motivation behind the situation, just calmly listen to what they have to say. You don't have to agree with them, but do strive to know why they are acting the way they are. Listen intently to what they are saying. You can rebut with something like; "I understand that you are felling a certain way, and that I perhaps did something to provoke these feeling, but I did not intend to cause this situation. That was not my intention and I apologize. I hope that you feel better soon, and if there is something I can do to help, please let me know" Simple as that.

Stand by your actions, no matter what side you are on
If you actually did do something to create the issue, and the complaint is legitimate, take responsibility for your actions. Apologize. Offer reciprocity or ask them if you can do anything to make them feel better. People don't want to feel like they are being walked on and need to voice themselves.

Do not accept their gift of anger-keep your cool.
One of my favorite Buddha stories goes like this: One day a disciple came to the Enlightened One. This student was angry and confronted the Buddha. The Buddha sat quietly in meditation while his student raved on. Finally, the student asked the Buddha if he could hear him and way was he not reacting with anger? The Buddha opened his eyes and politely said; "If I do not accept your gift of anger, does it not still make it your own?" See anger as a gift and do not accept it, let them keep it all.

Knowledge is power.
Know they really feel they have a reason for their negativity and aggression, but they do not know how to maturely convey the message to you. Thank them for letting you know how they feel. Let them know you appreciate them having the courage to let this matter out. Respond accordingly, but always reply out of love and respect and not retaliation, protection and fear.

The things people say may hurt our feelings, but as evolved beings we can choose our actions to these negative situations and let it go. Your ego may want to let the person know they hurt you, but this is not the time. After the situation is under control, you will have the chance at a later date to speak your truth.

As we walk a spiritual path, we are not immune from the negativity of the world, but we can choose to act in accordance with spiritual law. We will always be uplifted when we choose the right action and not retaliate in defense of our egos.