Copyright © 2008. Dr. Michael G. Rayel - author (A 31-Day Series and First Aid to Mental Illness) psychiatrist, and inventor of emotional and social skills games -- The Oikos Game Series and The CEO. Visit www.oikosglobal.com to learn these games more. Since 2005, he has published www.oikosinsights.com as personal development resource. As author of psychiatry review books Passing Strategies and Successful Preparation, he has offered psychiatry board review for ABPN II. Most recently, he has provided web seminars on EQ, Family, and mental health. For details, visit www.psychedu.com
One great thing about holidays is that it provides a convenient escape from the challenges and anxieties of daily living. Life can be tough but holidays can serve as a quick, temporary relief. But now that the excitement of Christmas and New Year is over, it’s about time to sit down and grapple with reality. Obviously, after weeks of running around and spending sprees, now is the right moment to face your . . . real problem.
Who doesn’t have a problem? Having millions will not shield you from problems. Having a great title will not protect you from misery. In fact, the more successful you become, the more challenges you will face. You are successful simply because you have solved more problems than your neighbors.
Life can get exciting when there are problems to solve!
Unpaid bills, philandering husbands, irresponsible kids, stressful workplaces, demanding colleagues, bad roads, and backbiting friends are just some of the challenges that people face. Of course, it’s not the presence of problem that counts. It’s how you face the problem; it’s your attitude that matters. In a way, problems put your character to the test more than anything else.
What are some useful ways to solve your problem?
Identify the real problem
What is the real problem? Many problems have almost the same complications so knowing the origin of your predicament is the key to unlock the suitable solution.
For instance if you have a bad debt, you have to identify whether the real cause is lack of income, inability to budget, excessive gambling, or frequent shopping. As you can see, the solution to any of these varies. Excessive gambling for example may need medication, counseling, and other behavioral interventions. And lack of income may require working overtime, having two jobs, reducing unnecessary expenses, and taking courses to improve skills.
When you know the real problem, finding the right solution is within reach.
Create possible solutions
After knowing the real problem, think about the possible solutions. Don’t limit yourself to only one or two solutions. Have a pen and paper and write down everything you can think of, even those that don’t appear to be plausible. Ask your spouse and trusted friends and relatives to give you a list of solutions. From these long lists, you might find a gem.
Whatever you’re doing — whether you’re driving, cooking, or exercising — think about ways to solve your difficulty. If your mind goes blank, don’t rush. Be patient. Sleep on it. The next day, your mind is fresh to create more ideas.
Read a good book or magazine on your topic of concern. Many reading materials offer credible information about common challenges.
Know the benefits and risks of each alternative
With a long list of solutions, choose appropriate items that apply to your situation. Select only practical and realistic solutions. Never hesitate to remove those items that don’t match the type and severity of your concern.
If possible, reduce the list to five to ten major solutions. Carefully study and know the benefits and potential risks of each one. For every alternative, determine if you can optimize the benefit and lessen the risk.
Seek advice
Seek ideas and suggestions from trusted family members and friends. I’ve mentioned the word “trusted” because I don’t recommend obtaining any suggestions from someone you can’t trust. Moreover, get as much ideas from people who share the same values as you or from people whose values you appreciate.
The quality of advice you get depends on the values of its source.
Gather credible information from experienced and knowledgeable experts and not from people who have worse troubles than you.
Choose and apply the appropriate solution
After weighing each alternative, rank the possible solutions based on your priorities and comfort level. With the benefits and risks in mind, think about the solution that will provide short-term and long-term benefits.
Having said this, some solutions may be tough to swallow in the short-term or may not deliver any acute relief. That’s okay.
Focus on the solution that has the best long-term outcome. And implement the necessary steps to achieve your goals.
Accept the consequences of your decision
After completing the important steps to solve your concern, hope for the best and expect a reasonable outcome. You have a good chance to succeed simply because you’re facing the problem head on.
Despite your efforts, your solution may not always work right away. But since you’ve thought about it and have sought the help of many trusted people including experts, you don’t have to blame yourself or feel guilty if things don’t turn out as you expect. In fact, you have to congratulate yourself for a time well-spent.
Solving a problem is positive — regardless of results.
No doubt, problems are nothing but disguised opportunities. Like the changing of the seasons, they come and go as long as we live. So welcome them with open arms and embrace them with gladness. You’ll be a better person if you do.
- Related Videos
- Related Articles
- Ask / Related Q&A




thanks
I Need To Get Him Text Back
By: Kim Clay | 03/01/2010sometime you may suppose there is no promise to get your ex back but living pain wanting to get over him is not what you need. You can wait for months even years to recover your broken heart. I don't think this is what you wish.
Ways To Get Him Back Now
By: Kim Clay | 03/01/2010At the end of your relationship would believe there is no hope to get your ex back but living infliction wishing to get over him is not what you need. You can expect for months even years to recover your broken heart. I don't think this is what you want.
Buyback Offer Comparison
By: Kim Clay | 03/01/2010You would suppose there is no hope to get your ex back but living pain wanting to get over him is not what you want. You can anticipate for months even years to recover your broken heart. I don't think this is what you wish.
Dumped, Confused, And Want Him Back
By: Kim Clay | 03/01/2010You would consider there is no promise to get your ex back but living infliction wishing to get over him is not what you want. You can anticipate for months even years to recover your broken heart. I don't think this is what you wish.
I Need To Get Him Back Books
By: Kim Clay | 03/01/2010sometime you may think there is no hope to get your ex back but living pain wanting to get over him is not what you need. You can wait for months even years to regain your broken heart. I don't think this is is your objective.
Ex Boyfriend Problem What Should I Do To Get Him Back
By: Kim Clay | 03/01/2010sometime you may believe there is no promise to get your ex back but living hurting wishing to get over him is not what you need. You can wait for months even years to regain your broken heart. I don't think this is what you want.
What Do I Do About An Ex
By: Kim Clay | 03/01/2010At the end of your relationship may suppose there is no hope to get your ex back but living annoyance wishing to get over him is not what you want. You can wait for months even years to recover your broken heart. I don't think this is is your objective.
Steps To Get Him Back Books
By: Kim Clay | 03/01/2010You may suppose there is no hope to get your ex back but living pain wishing to get over him is not what you want. You can expect for months even years to regain your broken heart. I don't think this is what you want.
How to Communicate so Your Partner Will Listen
By: Michael G. Rayel | 14/02/2009 | Self HelpI have seen it in my practice. Miscommunication has often been an easy passport to emotional turmoil and chaotic existence. What are some ways to communicate so your partner will listen?
Six Ways to Teach Your Kids Responsibility
By: Michael G. Rayel | 14/02/2009 | ParentingAlthough I intend this article for children, I have to admit that many adults may still learn from my message. Teaching responsibility is not just for kids. It’s pressing to pass on this important trait while young—when the mind can still be molded and when the heart is still thirsty for change.
How to be Happier in 2009
By: Michael G. Rayel | 14/02/2009 | Self ImprovementBeautiful babies have been born to joyful, expectant parents. New graduates have received job offers. Motivated employees have been promoted to positions they love. Creative individuals have invented new gadgets and technologies to make life easy for everyone.
Three Myths About Mental Illness
By: Michael G. Rayel | 29/11/2008 | Mental HealthIn my practice, I have met many misconceptions about mental illness from patients and their relatives. I can’t blame them. Mental illness has not been understood for a while.
Three Questions to Ask the Doctor in Your First Visit
By: Michael G. Rayel | 29/11/2008 | HealthOver the years, I’ve seen hundreds of patients in the hospital suffering from various illnesses. When they see me, some seniors usually bring a bagful of medications. Yes, a grocery bag full of prescription bottles.
How Motivated are You?
By: Michael G. Rayel | 13/10/2008 | MotivationalWhile almost everyone has the motivation to pursue activities daily, some of us have to struggle. Somehow, some can’t find that necessary inner zeal to be productive. Do you sometimes find yourself in a rut?
You Get What You Expect
By: Michael G. Rayel | 21/09/2008 | ParentingYou can choose what to expect from your children. And I assure you that you will get what you expect. Positive expectations are likely to produce positive outcomes. On the other hand, negative expectations are likely to bring forth negative results. This is the law of nature.