If you have been working on your temper, trying to develop a greater sense of inner peace, or pursuing any other form of spiritual growth, you may have moments where it seems you completely lose footing and revert back to the habits and tendencies you want to grow past. This is actually a great sign.
When negative feelings and circumstances resurge in your life it's probably because you are changing from within. Often the very problems we seek to solve will emerge violently after weeks or months of progress, giving us a real opportunity for release.
So when, after you feel you've made definite progress in an area of life, you suddenly find yourself struggling with old thoughts, feelings, and actions you should actually be happy. In this moment you have the chance to "get it out of your system" and to let go.
In the ideal scenario you will become aware of your thoughts and actions as they occur. When this happens try to become an observer of yourself; don't judge what is happening or try to interfere, simply watch the process play out.
If you are able to do this you'll feel an enormous sense of release immediately after the "episode". When this happens you are literally watching spiritual growth occur in the same way you might watch a plant grow through time-lapse photography.
Even if you seem to react, explode, etc. and then find yourself bewildered afterwards, progress has been made. You can reflect on the incident and then consciously release yourself from guilt or anger.
It has taken years to develop negative habits, limiting beliefs, and other energies that prevent you from being your best. Certainly it will take time and patience to release these things and evolve past them.
The back and forth process is quite natural. Ask anyone with long-term sobriety after years of alcoholism and addiction and they'll tell you the first year (or two) was fraught with relapses and other trials.
The fact is, much spiritual growth deals with recovery from addiction to emotional processes. It is just as possible to become addicted to the nuerohormones associated with anger, guilt, victimization, etc. as it is to get hooked on morphine or alcohol.
Resist the temptation to berate yourself, feel guilty, or give up after you have an emotional or spiritual relapse. Instead be grateful for real, measurable signs of progress.
The process of emergence and release is not limited to matters of emotion, behavior, and so forth. You'll participate in the very same natural progression when you are trying to create real and lasting wealth in your life, connect with your ideal mater, or attain any other substantial growth.
For example an entrepreneur trying to escape her own poverty consciousness might do well financially for months and then suddenly find herself with no customers, no prospects, and one or more excuses to spend all the emergency savings. This can feel like a devastating failure; but in fact it is more likely one of the last manifestations of growing pains in the cycle of transformation.
As long as you remain committed to your goal of real transformation you have nothing to worry about. Your growth will continue and the exact person you are choosing to become will emerge.
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