The Effects of Loneliness and Idleness

A time of loneliness and idleness might happen after a divorce, the loss of a loved one, the loss of a job, after children have left the home, or following trauma. Prolonged isolation and idleness usually deteriorates our mental health. Worry, depression, and regret often fill the void that company and activity used to fill.

If you find yourself in a situation where you are suddenly more alone, your routines have been disrupted and you have time on your hands, it is important to establish new friendships and routines as soon as possible.

Work outside the home and volunteering are some of the best choices you can make. When our time has structure a lot of things fall into place. Just having to dress, leave the home, and be somewhere by a certain time will help you. It will give you other things to think about and the opportunity to meet new people. Contact with others prevents stagnation and gives us the human contact we all need. If you are looking for work and the process will take time, volunteer in the meanwhile. Don't worry about having to quit when you get work. Get involved in something now. Helping others is a good way to feel you are contributing to the world.

Finding social groups is a wonderful way of making friends. Ask at the library about where to find a book club, writers club, soccer group, yoga class, foreign language group, gardening club, support group, church, or anything that is of interest to you. Some possibilities may be in the form of classes, but other activities might be completely free. You might even consider returning to college or night school. Make use of your time and get yourself among people, particularly in situations where you'll need to talk to others. In this way you'll soon find yourself feeling of better mental health.

What to do about loneliness?

Most of us get lonely from time to time. Sometimes we get sad because we miss a particular person or wish we had someone to love us and share our lives. For immediate relief, even in the middle of the night, it helps to get busy with a project.

A lot of times when we feel lonely for some reason we're reluctant to call old friends or new acquaintances, to go out, or invite people over. But if you wish to remove loneliness from your life, you will have to put in regular effort to communicate and be social. Make a commitment now that you will make a daily effort to improve your relationships.

Make a list of the important people in your life. Would you like to have better relationships with them? Then you need to put in regular effort. Call at least one person every day, or set aside quality time with your family. You might set up one night a week or month to have a meal with family you don't live with. Make it a goal to have about a dozen most important people in your life. If you don't have that many, that is not unusual. But start rekindling old relationships and make an effort to find some new friends you can spend time with. Be good to your friends and relatives with a kind words and offering help. Respecting what others want will help you to improve your relationships.

Remember that you are always loved. Sometimes the people we want to spend time with are not available at this time, but that doesn't mean they don't care for us.

Make room in your life for people. If you want to attract a mate, make physical space in your home for someone to move in. Make room for friends to come over and do things or share a meal. Make time in your schedule to date and socialize. Make room in your opinions and communication for sharing with others.