Think Confident, Act Confident, Be Confident!

Discover the power of your mind that can help you be what you want to be

There is one over-riding factor that applies to every person suffering from anxiety/lack of confidence, and that factor is a negative thought pattern.  The reason for this may stem way back to childhood or early adult life:  It may have to do with your looks, size, perceived level of intelligence, feelings of guilt over something you have done or other related factors.   It is in fact, a healthy exercise to drag your lurking demons kicking and screaming to the front of your mind where they can no longer hide.  Only now can you face them head on and start to take action to break free from the vicious circle of negativity which is ruling your life.

The power of the mind is unfathomable, and you need to train yourself not to be a victim of your thoughts but to have complete control over them..  You may have heard the saying “Whether you think you can or can’t, either way you are right”
- meaning that if you think you can’t do something you will never do it.  Can’t = Won’t:   Can = Will.   Your thoughts will forever influence your actions:  “All that we are is the result of what we have thought”……

The over-all solution to your lack of self confidence is – in essence – a simple one:  You simply replace all your negative thoughts with positive ones…… And Hey Presto, a new confident YOU will emerge. In practice this is not something that can be dealt with quite so easily or quickly, but there are lots of ways in which you can begin to effect a change in your mindset – the first steps on an incredible journey of self discovery and improvement.

In order to replace your negative thoughts you need to identify what they are.  So make a long list of what you feel the major problems are in your life and the things you don’t like about yourself, that embarrass or ashame you.  You need to look deep inside in order to see where and why you feel vulnerable and insecure, and only then can you develop a realistic understanding of yourself and your abilities, your strengths and your weaknesses.  Having done this you then need to decide and plan what you can do to change things.  

Your next step is to list all of your positive qualities and achievements – however small – and focus on them.  At the same time list all the situations you can think of where each individual quality could be of use in your work/social life.  For instance you may have a lovely smile which invites a spontaneous response from others – a really good and positive quality that is vital in communication/relationships with others.  It also serves to lift your spirits and fight off feelings of negativity.  You have probably never taken the time to explore your strengths in detail, and you may well surprise yourself!  A little tip that I myself found very effective, is to look at someone who you perhaps secretly admire and even envy – possibly because of their looks, personality, lifestyle or circle of friends – and make a list, as you did for yourself, of the things about them that they might not like anyone to point out!  They may have an annoying habit, talk too much or too loudly, be patronizing when they talk to you, always think they are right, or a hundred and one other possibilities.  It’s quite a shock to realize that that person isn’t as perfect as you once thought them!

Don’t set impossible goals that you can never hope to achieve:

Remember

“Success doesn’t happen in a day but it happens daily”……..

So try to learn something new and do something useful every day.  This will feed your mind and help you to grow and develop as a person.  It will also help you to feel good and positive about yourself.  You are as entitled to be happy and successful as the next person, and it is vital that you “allow” yourself the opportunity to succeed.  Every morning say to yourself “I’m going to achieve something new today”, then get up and face the day with enthusiasm and determination.  If this means stepping out of your comfort zone, then do it!  Give different activities a chance, meet new people and practice communicating with them.  Help yourself in this by eating healthily, exercising 2 or 3 times a week and getting enough sleep – all of which will help you feel better inside and out.  Dressing well and wearing clothes to suit the occasion will also help your confidence – there’s no need to spend a lot of money on the right gear these days, with excellent charity/second hand shops, your local bargain pages and of course ebay!

As you become more confident, start associating more with positive people (this does not mean completely abandoning your friends, merely broadening your horizons…), so that you do not become saturated with negative views of those who complain about their lot but do not have what it takes to do something about it.  Intentionally or not, they will drag you down, belittle what you are trying to do and cause you to falter on the road to success.  Do not allow this to happen……  Continue on your course with just a few tiny baby steps a day, and eventually you will get where you want to go. In the words of the theme song from “Biggest Loser”                                     

“What have you done today to make you feel proud
It’s never to late to try
What have you done today to make you feel proud?
You could be so many people
If you make that break for freedom
What have you done today to make you feel proud”